Parental hivemind advice requested:

Annabel occasionally rejects clothes she doesn't like by saying, "That's too pretty for me." Should I interpret that as 3-year-old speak for, "That print is too busy and/or that outfit has too many ruffles and frills for my taste," or should I be concerned that some mean kid at daycare has told her she isn't pretty and shouldn't wear pretty things?

I really, really think it's the former. She's definitely a budding tomboy. For awhile it was no pink, no flowers, no dresses, period, but lately she's showing a preference for things that are girly, but more girl jock than princess. Pink sneakers and baseball cap, denim skirts, etc. I think she just doesn't like the styles she calls "too pretty." But OTOH, if someone *has* been telling my daughter she's not pretty, I want to find them and go all Mama Bear on their ass, you know? Because I know Annabel will eventually have to deal with her own version of a self-image monster, but 3 is too young for that! And besides, my daughter is beautiful, dammit.

Colour me broke. I had 6 courses left to take in my previously-scheduled last semester and decided hell no. So I graduated in 3.5 years instead of 3, with a 4 course penultimate semester, and a 2 course final one. And not even summer.

I still helped run at least one campus group for a year+ after graduation, and took martial arts in the gym for an extra semester.

Meara, I took 4 A levels. An ABB offer meant that if I got one A and two Bs among the 4, I was in. It was a total surprise, because it was achievable. I think I was the only student in my school who didn't test, and I didn't even want to go.

Annabel occasionally rejects clothes she doesn't like by saying, "That's too pretty for me." Should I interpret that as 3-year-old speak for, "That print is too busy and/or that outfit has too many ruffles and frills for my taste," or should I be concerned that some mean kid at daycare has told her she isn't pretty and shouldn't wear pretty things.

That sounds like it's coming from Annabel, not other kids. She has already expressed a strong preference for non-girly colors and patterns, so I think that's how she's using the word "pretty."

Why settle for pretty when she's already beautiful and has a distinct sense of style?

Thanks, Hec! That was my instinct, but I wanted to see what more experienced parents thought.

I'd agree with Hec -- too pretty because of the mean kids plays more like a wistful "I love it... but I can't wear it... *sob*". What you're describing sounds more like "not my style and I don't want it", which, go team tomboy!

Not a parent, but based on what you're saying, Susan, it sounds like she's trying to say, "That's too feminine for my taste" but doesn't yet have the vocabulary.

On the other hand, you might want to touch base with the grownups at daycare. Maybe phrase it as asking whether they're seeing any issues that you may not be seeing.

I think Hec has the right idea. Maybe try introducing other words - busy, frilly, flowery....whatever...and see if she shifts from "pretty" to something more descriptive.

CJ is just NOW, at 11 years old, getting picky over what he wears. Must be a boy thing to not care for so long.

Must be a boy thing to not care for so long.

I've known a fair few who haven't yet started to care at 30 (or 40, or 50...)

Very much a boy thing. Though sadly, doesn't mean they start preferring things that look GOOD on them...

I took 4 A levels. An ABB offer meant that if I got one A and two Bs among the 4, I was in. It was a total surprise, because it was achievable.

Huh. I think the whole A level thing is just so different that it confuses me. Especially when I read wikipedia and see this comparison:

A Level Result UCAS Points Equivalent IB Diploma Score
B,B,C 280 24
A,A,A 360 28
A,A,A,C 440 31
A,A,A,A 480 33
A,A,A,A,B 560 36
A,A,A,A,A 600 38

Knowing that I ended up with something like 36 IB points (perhaps I misremember?). Which seems like it couldn't possibly be right (and the "UCAS points" I'm not even touching)

Ellie dressed herself this morning. She left the house wearing - white onesie with a red whale on it, red pigtail holders (done by me), orange, white and hot pink flower shorts, and light and hot pink sneakers. Even if she didn't match, she still looked really cute.

Susan's post has made me think that I should stop fretting over how much longer it takes for her to dress herself and be glad she's developing a sense of herself.