If they wanted to put makeup on me I would be oh so OK with that. It's the putting it on by myself that is causing panic attacks. I only wore foundation and lipstick on Win Ben Stein's Money and I think I looked just fine. Luckily Kristin sent me some incredibly detailed instructions to take with to the beauty supply store so I am feeling a lot more capable. Also I figure if I go with the most natural and neutral shades I can find I can't mess it up too bad, right?

Laga, I don't think that you need to worry about wearing mascara/following the instructions exactly. I wouldn't if it were me. They're just worried about how you'll look on camera, and these are the pitfalls they've seen from other people.

I can't remember the last time I wore mascara.

I can't remember the last time I left the house without mascara. When people would see me, anyway. But I rarely do anything to my nails but file. Nail polish is like once a year, then I get bored with the upkeep.

I can't remember exactly the last time I wore mascara but I think it might have been Jr High. The last time I wore eyeliner it was to draw anarchy symbols on my face.

buttered popcorn: the sad thing is that this is the sort of thing I would ordinarily turn to my sister for and she would gleefully step up to the plate. Unfortunately I'm still so mad at her that I can't even bring myself to imagine us getting along long enough for her to help me.

In asshat-in-law news Mom has told Meg that she doesn't want to see the asshat anymore and Meg replied that she would not be coming to visit unless asshat was busy (which is very unlikely considering he is still unemployed). However another glowey-box friend suggested I look into narcissistic personality disorder (previously the amateur psychology team of me and mom had diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder) and the descriptions are eerily accurate. We found a website all about how to recover from relationships with NPDs but the only advice I have found (so far) on dealing with them in person was, "when you have to be around him, treat him like an infant. The rest of the time stay as far away as possible." Which is kind of sad considering I was hoping I could find some advice on getting along with the schlub but I do feel relieved to know that my instinct to run far far away was (if we amateur psychologists are right this time) actually the right thing to do.

I just had an evil thought to try and get ass-hat out of your sisters life. Truly a low, machiavellian thought. and borderline illegal.

I do borderline illegal (not to mention clearly illegal) stuff every day. Lay it on me!

The suspense is killing me! What evil plan has your twisted mind hatched, omnis?

ETA: part of me is worried that you haven't replied because you are too busy putting your evil plot into motion. I get veto power! She's my sister!

sorry, looking at other sites. Can you believe there are other sites than B.org on the internet?!? Craxy I know ;-)

OK, here's the idea. Since he's a lazy good for nothing male staying at home all day, and your sister goes out and earns a living. What if ya hire a call girl to head to their place. He being the dork that he is, would probably take the bait, then ya photograph him being an asshat. Even if he doesn't and you get a picture of her at the front door, it might be enough to put the seeds of break-up in your sisters mind.

Ya, slightly illegal, very immoral, and I'd feel bad for using another woman like that. But it might help get rid of asshat.

God I feel dirty for thoughts like that. What happened to good old fashioned sex thoughts to make me feel dirty?!?

And the call girl would shoot him in the knees?

edit: obviously my machiavellian thoughts are much more violent than yours.