I came across this crackfic on my flist, and given all the recent discussion of Castiel I thought I'd share it with you: Eternally Needing Proof (90 Proof), by eighth_horizon. It starts thusly:
Sam was sitting on his bed reading 66 Seals: A Tourist’s Guide to Freeing Lucifer (which had been slipped under the door sometime during the previous night) when he heard them coming. Fighting, again. With a preemptive eyeroll and a request for patience aimed at the ceiling, he put the book aside just as Dean slammed the motel room door open and stormed in.
Sam watched his brother go straight to his own bed, kneel down, and put his hands together in prayer over the coverlet. “Dear God: take your damn angel back. I’ve had it with his bullshit. Amen.”
Castiel stepped in on a gust of wind, motions stiff with what could only be righteous anger. Despite the average size of his host, Castiel still managed to somehow fill the room beyond capacity. “Dean Winchester!”
The mirrors on the ceiling rattled threateningly. Sam balanced a pillow on his head just in case, then got his camera phone and waited for a snapshot moment.
Dean ignored them both. “P.S., bring my brother Sam a pony so he’ll finally get that big emo hole in his soul filled and then he’ll stop fucking around with demons. Amen again.”
“You are the most infuriating specimen,” Castiel said, pointing an incriminating finger at Dean. “I will not tolerate further insolence from you.”
“What was that, Jackassiel?” Dean said without rising. “You told me you wanted respect, and I told you to quit following me around saying stupid shit that doesn’t make any sense. Just go back to Candy Mountain or wherever you’re from. I’m sure God will understand.”
Castiel made claws of his host’s hands and advanced on Dean with shadows beginning to gather around him, but stopped short when Sam said, “Hey, hey. Thou shalt not kill.”
So Dean and Sam take Castiel out drinking. Hilarity ensues.