'The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco'
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We called that The Running Movie around our house on its release.
I took a dear old (in his 80's) scientist friend to see Mohicans thinking he'd like the period and the nature of it.
He spent the entire film sniffing about how it wasn't filmed where the story was set (He identified every. single. plant. on sight...and loudly) and that DDL should know better than to run through the woods carrying a long gun.
Big mistake on my part.
I was a big Ludlum fan when I was in college. He kept the pace going so fast you didn't recognize the gaping holes in logic until much later.
Because Jason met Marie when he kidnapped her. And then she fell in love with him.
All I remember about Last of the Mohicans is that it induced hysterical laughter in me and my friends. I can't even remember why.
What I remember from Last of the Mohicans, aside from discovering afterwards that it was a well-meaning whitewash from the original (staggeringly racist) novel, was learning that there are, in fact, no Mohicans any more. (The Mohegans, in Connecticut, are only distantly related.) The Mohicans died out before their language was very much written down, so the Mohican spoken in the movie is half-guess and half-handwave.
Although the first Bourne movie's action sequences were cut together more comprehensibly, they tended not to be members of the reality-based consituency. For example, if you are a member of a secret spy organization? Attempting to kill someone with an automatic weapon in the middle of Paris is not the way to go. It is not secret. It was as if a whole organization of twisted sideways-thinkers had never heard of the word poison. Which, I'm aware poison is not nearly as exciting as automatic weapons, but, hello!
Also, I mean, although both Bourne movies had incomprehensible plots, I found the first one vaguely insulting. If the assassination target hadn't been such a buffoon, I might have actually cared when he got splatted.
From Mohicans, I remember:
"Stay alive...whatever occurs...I WILL come for you."
wibble
There's a LotM cult here where much of it was filmed. They have a con every year. Are you surprised? The privately owned park which is the river gorge where Magua's troop walked single file along the cliff face, where Alice and Uncas fell, the waterfall where Chingachgook and Magua fought, and the site on the gorge rim where the Sachem's camp was is up for sale, as the private landowner can no longer care for the park.
The park museum has one of Cora's dresses, her straw hat, a buckskin suit of Nathaniel's, and one of Chingachgook's war clubs, held together with a bunch of those little crack-spanning things you get at Home Depot and nail into either side of the crack, spray-painted blue.
This, despite Dawson's Creek being filmed here for like, forever. We loves us our LotM here in NC.
Also, I mean, although both Bourne movies had incomprehensible plots
Really? I got them, and I never get spy movies without help from Stephen. I thought the first Mission Impossible was incomprehensible, but I followed both Bourne movies really easily.
I mean incomprehensible from the reality standpoint. Like, in the second movie, why send Russian McHottie to kill Bourne? Aside from just wanting to see him in linen? If they hadn't sent him at all, Bourne could be frolicking on an unknown beach even to this day, completely ignorant of the fact that half the western world wanted him for one more murder. And if the wstern world found him and tried to arrest him for said murder, what would he do? Tell them they're a bunch of lying liars and disappear to someplace else, right? The whole movie hinges on the bad guys pissing him off. If they hadn't bothered to piss him off, the movie wouldn't have happened and the bad guys would be in charge even now.
Also, I mean, if you can afford the work it takes to find Bourne, then you can afford an assassin who can actually check to make sure he's really dead.
Got it. I agree -- they're completely implausible, but then so are most spy movies. Incomprehensible meant to me that you didn't follow the plot, not that you didn't buy it.
I suppose I don't buy it, either, but there's pretty men, and I remind myself that I don't have any idea what's actually possible in the world of espionage, so it's all good.