SYCYTD. Yay!

Ok, Syesha’s spot was just sad. And the Mayor of Tampa? He couldn’t be assed? Poor Syesha.

If I Ain’t Got You – Syesha (Randy’s Choice)

Ugh, the daggone swayers. If Syesha had a gun to just mow them down right now, she’d have my vote forever. She has really gotten better and better and better in this competition. I am stunned. This is really beautiful and restrained. And different enough that it is not a total copycat of Alicia Keys. Y’all, I loved that. That was wicked good. She’s still annoying as all get out. And Randy brands her number three already. Damn. She’s sooo fake. Why? If she took it down about 1000 notches, she’d be so much more enjoyable.

D. Cook at least picked up his text message on his local morning show. Not in the back of a limo like some two bit Eliot Spitzer call girl on her way to a DC rendezvous.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – D.Cook (Simon’s Choice)

And he gets some pre-song pimpage. Why? He is already the front runner, show. Beautiful song. Wasted on this idjit. I still think I’ve heard quite a few karaoke performers who were his absolute equal (and many a one who was his better). And he goes sharp as soon as he takes it to the emo place. And you do not scream Roberta Flack. “The first time ever I saw your face . . . I wanted to punch you in it.” Well, do I even need to say I hated it? Let’s move it along.

Round One totally goes to Syesha. She cleaned these fools clocks. Not that the show would ever admit that.

What the hell is D'Archie wearing? Does it even match? I think he needs some Garanimals.

With You – D’Archie (His Choice)

OMG. Knock me over with a feather. D’Archie picked Chris Brown? See what he does when he’s unleashed from his dungeon master? Without singing a note, this is already my favorite D’Archie performance ever. Awww. He can’t dance at all. Poor baby. So cute. He’s tearing it up. And having so much fun. Awww. I loved that. He gets a little mini-EEEEE back. Oh, hush Randy. That was great. Boo, judges. Don’t try to shove him back into his box. But I will give Simon the dancing. That was sad. But the boy probably isn’t allowed to even shuffle his feet at home, so what do you expect?

Fever – Syesha (Her Choice)

I don’t like this choice for her. Already. And has the girl met a sequin that she didn’t like. Why not just hand the judges a gold plated paddle with the word “Broadway/cabaret” on it and then bend over so that they can smack that ass? She also went off pitch there on the chorus. And sharp on the shouty parts. As I suspected, I didn’t like it at all. It was cheese on toast. Bad song choice. Oh my heavens, Paula is on point. What? I knew Simon wouldn’t be able to resist the “C” word.

Dare You to Move – D.Cook (His Choice)

This is just. So. D.Cook-ian. This, y’all. This is why I abhor everything about this fool. You do not get to sing a Switchfoot song and then position yourself as the King of All Things Cred. And he was off pitch again. Some more. I’m so, so tired of this fool. I just would like for him to win already so I can get on with ignoring him and everything about him.

Longer – D’Archie (Producer’s Choice)

Why are the producers bought into making this 17 year old the king of Lite FM? This shit is ludicrous. Of course he can sing this and tear it up because he has an amazing voice. But, dammit, he’s not 50. Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean? He’s a minute old. He’s too young to sing this song. It was beautiful. He has a wonderous, pure voice and it’s gorgeous. But that song could not have been more wrong for him. Period. Thank you, Simon, for dropping a little knowledge.

Hit Me Up – Syesha (Producer’s Choice)

WTF, Producers? This song choice is . . . inept would be kind. This isn’t even a song. It’s a series of weird vocal tics with some glory notes thrown in. How does that song do anything for her voice? And why would it ever be something that she would make? I suppose she sang it well, but . . . dude, what a stupid choice. I guess the producers were trying to throw her under the bus. Well, that oughta do it.

I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing – D.Cook (Producer’s Choice)

Well, double fuck. I hated it when Aerosmith crapped out this bloated turd. And I hate it even more now with D.Cook getting the violins on stage, MTV VMA treatment. And once again, on the scream-y parts he strains his ridonkulously tiny voice and goes all sharp and then flat on the last “thing” and oh for pity’s sake, just give him the damn confetti shower already and get it over with.

That was perhaps the crappiest Top 3 show in AI history (and that’s a history that includes a Top 3 with Jasmine Trias and Diana Degarmo, so that’s saying a lot). Jeez, for a season with such good singers (and they were good) underwhelming is what comes to mind.

D’Archie had a really good night and he was in great voice. Syesha was in ok voice but her song choices sucked ass. D.Cook has a mediocre voice at best, but people seem to like him, so there you go.

And sorry for all the posts. I know it was an obnoxious amount. But y'all had two weeks off from me and I really, really missed you!

No, no, kat! I depend on you to be my music critic! While I'll like some of the songs for my own peculiar reasons, you're my yardstick for judging if I know what I'm talking about or just cracked out crazy.

Thanks, Sail. And I fear it's only gonna get worse when SYTYCD comes back. But more folks seem to post about that show, so it won't look so bad.

The SYCYTD commercials tonight were totally my favorite part of AI, which is sad.

oh for pity’s sake, just give him the damn confetti shower already and get it over with.

Seriously. Talk about stacking the deck.

Anybody been watching Hell's Kitchen?

I'd like to know where they FIND these people! some of them seem ... their incompetence is matched only by their egos (both huge).

And TWOP, in addition to the Gordon Ramsey bleep-o-meter, has one for the contestants (which runs higher than Ramsey's ... but there ARE more of them).

Yeah, they did a really bad job of casting this one, I think. Fine to have one or two wildcards in the bunch, but without some serious contenders, it's just irritating. And boring as hell.

I'd like to know where they FIND these people! some of them seem ... their incompetence is matched only by their egos (both huge).

The freakshow aspect made stop watching after the premiere this year. I like the concept of the show in theory (the paces Gordon puts them through are more practical for working in a real kitchen than what they do on Top Chef, and they seem to be intent on turning chefs into caterers this year), but as amusing as Ramsey's invective can be, the lameness of the contestants has made it so much the default setting for him I just can't watch.

Yeah, I can't believe that any of these people could run a restaurant.