People with families of 4 to feed on a $10 budget? Do not shop at Whole Foods.

SERIOUSLY. That was my big "Whu-huh???!???!!" I mean, someone was using parmesan. Can you even buy parmesan at whole foods that even a sliver of wouldn't bust at least half your budget?

I gotta say, though, for a bunch of whiny prima donnas, they all seemed really good with the kids. I know part of that's editing, but I can't believe they didn't have at least one serious W.C. Fields type in the bunch. I mean, I'm not surprised Crazy Andy is the one who got his kid injured (albeit slightly) but he handled it REALLY well.

There are some folks who've been kicked off that I would have been entertained to see interact with the kids, though, in a train wreck sort of way.

I thought Spike's kid was the one who peeled his finger.

I thought Spike's kid was the one who peeled his finger.

Yeah, you're right. For some reason I remember Andrew doing the carrot soup, but he made the top 3 with the palliard chicken and the fennel salad.

Why doesn't Spike wear the (stupid fucking) hat when it's useful, dammit?

Blah, razzin' frazzin' trainings made me miss live posting about Idol. So sad. So here goes my very late musings. I'll tackle performance night first. Overall, I was deeply underwhelmed by Neil Diamond night.

Syesha Mercado – Hello Again

Y’all, she can really sing. Who knew? The beginning was very sweet and . . . almost subtle. Even the scream-y parts are not as scream-y as they could’ve been. She is having some pitch challenges, yes, especially in her lower register. But overall it was quite lovely and restrained. Who are you, again? Also, thank you for finding someone who knows how to work a pressing comb. If you’re going to insist on straightening her hair, at least make Madame CJ proud.

Syesha, Part Two - Thank the Lord for the Night Time

Hmm, taking it up tempo for the second song. Ok. This is sassy. You know, Syesha really does a lot better on the jazzy, fun numbers. She is just a teeny bit under the pitch again, but still . . . this is fun. But also kind of reminiscent of some Sister Act II outtake, you know, where the kids are rehearsing with Whoppi for the big concert and the one singer who didn’t go on to become Lauren Hill got her solo? And then the director cut it because it just wasn’t all that overwhelming? Yeah, it was kinda like that. Competent, but nothing to shout about.

David Archuleta – Sweet Caroline

Yuck. I should’ve known D’Archie would pick one of my least favorite ND songs. And the thought of D’Archie singing this song about/to Caroline Kennedy is making me need a Tums. Eeeww. Well, let’s see what happens. Ugh. He is in very bad voice this evening. That first note was a crime against music. He is really scraping the bottom of his lower register AGAIN. Well, this confirms my long held belief that teenage boys, even ones as good as I generally think D’Archie is, are not made for this competition. Just no. His voice sounds foul, y’all. He needs to go somewhere and drink hot tea with honey and mint for a week and not talk. There were so, so many rank notes there. Sigh. Poor D’Archie. It’s like he’s trying to ruin the David/David finale of Nigel’s dreams.

D'Archie, Part 2 - America

I can’t, y’all. I just don’t think I can. See my earlier rant about Kristy Lee when she sang Lee Greenwood. And it’s just twenty million times as gross here because you know his Svengali, child-eating, stage father pushed this song on him as a way to grab votes in a week where his voice finally just gave up the ghost. Aren’t there laws against this sort of thing? Really? This is like some Triangle Shirtwaist fire level shit. Let this poor child go home. That third “They're coming to America” in or so? Painful. Yuck. I hate everything about this performance. Poor noodle.

Brooke White – I’m A Believer

Wow. I actually think this is a really excellent song choice for her, but with her state of mind the last couple of weeks, who knows if she can really pull it off. Let’s find out! Well, she started the song out way too low, so consequently she is hella flat. And sounds like absolute shite. Oh god, y’all. This is so decidedly not good. Just out of tune and warbly. Ugh. I love me some Brooke White, but please everyone, let’s send this girl home. She just does not have the stuff to win. This is bad. Painful bad. All the “woos” in the world won’t help (and just bring up unfortunate Taylor Hicks memories, which I’m certain is not what she was going for)

Brooke, Part 2 - I am, I said

I’ve never understood or particularly cared for this song, but I’m having a hard time thinking how it could be any worse than the last one. So, let’s give it a whirl. She usually does a little better with a piano accompaniment. And she started off at least closer to the key. Yes, this is better. However, just as I remembered, this song is strange and off putting. I’m bored by the performance, but at least she’s singing it better than the first. Yawn.

David Cook – I’m Alive

Sigh. Most of them have (continued...)

( continues...) been so bad tonight (only Syesha gets a pass) that he’ll probably come off looking good by comparison. And the hair, good grief the hair. Why is it just getting worse and worse as the weeks go by? Is the crazy, giant forehead trying to hack its way out of the hair jungle? He has the Alfalfa strands working in the back tonight, too. Ick. Already not liking it. He is flat, flat, flat as well. And he’s trying to rock, emo it out. Again. Some more. Damn, why do all the kids sound like holy hell this week? Is it going up to two songs? Dude sounds like some 12 pack a day Marlboro man sucking on a Bud Light in the back of a catgut bar in the Greyhound station with a beat up karaoke machine in the corner. And not in the good way.

D. Cook, Part 2 - All I Really Need is You

Hmm. I don’t know this song at all. But he sounds at least better than the first time. He still sounds like a Three Doors Down cover band singer, but he always sounds like that, so . . . I guess for him this is good? Whatever. I coulda had a V8. The judges, as usual, are on crack when it comes to this kid. But what else is new?

Jason Castro – Forever in Blue Jeans

He’s so pretty, y’all. I just want him to come and sit on a stool next to my desk and stare at me all day with those big, blue eyes. And occasionally talk some crazy stoner talk and make me laugh. And then strum a little ditty on his guitar. I don’t know this song at all, so let’s get it started. Well, he hit his first note which automatically means that I like this song better than anything else I've heard tonight. And oh yeah, I totally know this song. Scratch the earlier comment. And he is turning it out. What a lovely song choice for him. He can totally do his Jason Castro thing and he is working it. He has no range whatsoever, but that’s always been true. He’s just got that earnest, Jason thing, and at least for me, it totally works. And he was consistently in tune and had a nice rhythm and flow throughout the song for the first time tonight, which automatically makes him the big winner as far as I’m concerned.

Jason, Part 2 - September Morn

Once again, starts off strong. He is in good voice tonight. Very nice. This is an interesting pick for him. He’s doing a little bit jazzier Jason. Not quite so folksy as he can be. Wow. I am really liking him tonight. And normally, I like him mainly for the Castro stoner-ness of it all, but I am really enjoying his singing tonight. Bravo, pretty face man. You done good. Well, you biffed the last note, but I’ll give you a pass because everything else was quite nice. And because your so, so pretty.

Hmm, based on tonight’s performances, I really believe that Brooke, or even D’Archie, should go. But I think, despite having what I think was one of the night’s stronger performances, Syesha probably will go. She just doesn’t have the fan base to make it past the rest of this bunch and she didn’t have a stellar week, like last week, only a solid one. Jason Castro was the only performer I really enjoyed tonight. D. Cook did the same damn thing he always did, so if you like that, then it was right up your alley (though I insist his first song sucked ass). And Brooke and D’Archie were ridiculous bad.

And now for my results night thoughts. Very weird top 4.

Results night

I have no comment about the judging “controversy” with Paula from last night. If you didn’t know that the judging on the show was rigged at this late stage of the game, then you haven’t really been paying attention. AI has a firm pimp hand, as any true playa would.

I am surprised, however, that Brooke went home. Pleasantly, but still. I don’t think it was Syesha’s strength, but rather America’s collective desire to not continue with the Brooke Breaks Down ’08 tour. I really do believe it’s for the best here, but I like Brooke and hope to see her at a coffee house near me soon. In other fun news, I wonder if Syesha can prevent an all boy Top 3? The all boy Top 3 would be a first if it happened. Who’da thunk it this deep into the show, we have the possibility for a first time occurrence? And it looks like we’ll definitely have an all male top 2 for the first time since Clay and Rube. It just remains to be seen whether it’s the two Davids or if Jason can sneak in.

Product placement on TC was really blatant tonight. I mean, even in the waiting room, you could see the glad wrap on the wall. I didn't think that they would kick Stephanie off on her first mishap.

Tom with saying that Mark should have used his budget better? Dude, have you bought veggies at Whole Foods?

Dude sounds like some 12 pack a day Marlboro man sucking on a Bud Light in the back of a catgut bar in the Greyhound station with a beat up karaoke machine in the corner. And not in the good way.

I don't watch American Idol, I was just skimming through to catch the comments about Top Chef, but this caught my eye and I loved it so much I thought it bore repeating.

Dude, have you bought veggies at Whole Foods?

Yeah, but everyone else managed to work some protein in, and even at WF sweet potatoes are pretty cheap.

I can get four meals out of $5 at my normal grocery store! Not Top Chef quality, but whatever.

Well, and honestly that was my other problem with this challenge - I appreciate the charity aspect of working with kids and teaching them to cook, but what the fuck does it matter if a restaurant chef can't cook cheap & simple home food??? This was a challenge I'd have liked on Next Food Network Star. NSM on Top CHEF.

Seriously. They even could have done "simple, work with kids" without the money aspect. And of course the one with a kid won. When was the last time any of the rest of them cooked anything at home for dinner?