i'm really excited about that too, kat! though i'll definitely be watching on tape delay. that sucker is going to be 2 1/2 hours this year.

Ok, show of hands if that alligator episode of Dirty Jobs gave you the briefest wish to be a fire ant? Wow, Can't believe I'm in here. Hey.

AI. Whoot!

Inspirational Songs always sucks so bad. But this night? With this particular crew? I fear D’Archie’s choice already.

I also miss the man/woman Terminator RoboIdol from seasons past.

Let's just start things off by . . . Oh my god! Paula’s breasts. My eyes! My eyes!

Michael Johns – Dream On

Could be good, could be tragic. Let’s see, shall we? Why is he dressed like a waiter at Mario’s Italian Bistro? And WTF with the cravat again? Hmmm. Voice not as good as last week. And he doesn’t really have the Steven Tyler type voice anyway, so maybe not the best decision. The wail was pathetic. Sounded like a cat drowning. OK. I'm back to not caring about you at all. Randy (and Simon) are right. He’s no Steven Tyler. Somebody please bring Paula a shirt. I can’t concentrate.

I wonder how much the kids voices are gonna be affected tonight by having to record Idol Gives Back yesterday? They’ve already done a full night’s singing, so they’re even less fresh than the average week.

Syesha Mercado (aka Most annoying contestant remaining) – I Believe

You are taking on Tasia? Oh no you di’int! Why would you sing an Idol winner’s song? Is this some bizarre tribute to Ramiele? This is a crap ass song (Sorry, Tamyra!) and the only thing that made it compelling (and it was, and how) was the fact that Fantasia sang the hell out of it. She brought it and she had passion and life experience and character in her voice that Syesha will never have. So, so tired of these S7 Idols thinking they are going to top iconic performances from Idol seasons past. She didn’t sing it badly, but it was bland. Paula is lying to you, gal. Don’t believe it.

Jason Castro – Somewhere Over the Rainbow

If he plays a ukulele I will beat him senseless. Stop it. This is too precious, even for me. Isn’t this the song from the CA Lottery commercials? Not even the baby blues can make me swallow this. And he biffed the words to one of the most recognizable songs in the universe. He is singing it beautifully. He hasn’t sounded this good since Top 24 rounds, but I just can’t with this one. I can’t. Too precious. Too knowingly quirky.

God I hate inspirational songs week. The crap these kids dig up.

Also love the pre-emptive name checking of the arrangements these kids are covering. Yet another thing I can blame on fucking David C. and Daughtry. Esh. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, but the show is bugging the hell out of me right now.

Kristy Lee Cook – Anyway

Martina McBride. Well, at least it’s not Independence Day or Broken Wing or God’s Will. Yeah, Kristy Lee, you do not have the voice for this. Martina can blow. That “anyway” should blow you out the back of the theater. The best I can say is that your pretty much on pitch (although the lower register is shaky, shaky). She’s doing better on the belting. Definitely the best she’s sounded in weeks, too. Alright, half a snap up. Simon’s right. This one is a very smart cookie. Y’all she could sneak into the top 5.

And I guess I'll just keep editing this one sad, little post until it flips over into a new posting box.

Ok, new post. Let's just call this the hating post. Hmm, but then again the last post was a hating post as well. Even for my lovely Jason Castro. So let's call this Step Up 2 the Hating in honor of the totally awesome SYTYCD commercial.

SYTYCD commercial. Whooooo!!! That’s the most excited I’ve been all night!

Who the hell is sitting on Simon’s lap? Aaaahh. The boss. Mikey D. you need to wash your hair.

David C. – Innocent

By some band I don’t know. Still tore up from the floor up. His voice is soooo flat. And singing through his nose. Weird key change. What the hell is this song? Awful. Awful and he can’t find a key he likes and just stick with it. And he is wearing an Ann Taylor Loft jacket. What the hell? And the writing on the hand, “Give Back”. Oh my lord. He is such a ginormous tool. I can’t take it. Teensy weensy bit pompous, Simon? He’s an ass on toast.

Carly Smithson – The Show Must Go On

Love this song. Soooo difficult to sing well. I’m a little bit concerned for Carly on this one. She sometimes struggles on the big note. She started out doing really well with it. Ooops. Nope. Same problem when she goes for the big power note. It comes out all thin and reedy. And she has zero charisma. I was so bored by that whole performance. Despite the strobe lights and the chorus. I can totally see why she didn’t make it when she had her deal. Unbelievably, Paula was right. She seemed totally disengaged. I just can’t connect with her. Eww and she tried to throw shade on Simon for her crappy performance. So much hating. So little time.

David A. – Angels

Dammit. He needs an up tempo R&B/Pop number more than anyone in the history of ever. I’m sure he’ll sing it well. Equally sure that I won’t care at all. Hmmm. He’s not in great voice tonight either. I think doing Idol Gives Back last night is really taking its toll on the kids. You can totally tell that their voices are getting tired. Well, he picked it up nicely at the end there. And that’s all that counts on AI, so . . . Simon is right, as usual. And Paula brings up the real issue at the end there. They have run these kids into the ground this week and it’s making them all sound like shit. Poor noodles.

Lots of contenders to go tonight. Yikes. (And for once, am in agreement with you about David C. What was that mess?)

David Cook really came off like a tool with the writing on his hand. Also, does he get the award for song sounding most like bad Christian rock?

Man.

This wasn't the best ep of AI, but it was better than some eps earlier this season...

I’m marginally excited for Brooke White doing Carole King. I’m tremendously horrified by the hideous flowered monstrosity she’s wearing.

Brooke White – You’ve Got a Friend

Of all the Carole King songs she could’ve sung, this is my least favorite choice. She sounds lovely, however. I loved that. She really has the perfect voice for that song. I think it was one of her best performances, unlike Randy. It’s just that she’s not a pimp spot singer. I don’t know why they put her there. She’s never gonna bring down the house. Wow, the judges have really jumped off the Brooke love train. Wonder what happened?

So, I’m tremendously underwhelmed. These contestants continue to have not a teacup’s worth of star power among them.

Best of the night: Well, no one really. Syesha, Kristy Lee, Brooke, and Jason were at least vocally proficient. David A. had some problems early on but brought it home nicely.

Worst: Pretty much everyone sucked ass tonight. Michael, David C. and Carly really had some vocal challenges. But I’ll give the worst of the night to the producer who sat on Simon’s lap. Do you see what happens when you treat these kids like child laborers in Kathy Lee’s sweat shop? You wind up with this sucktastic show. Shame on you, Idol producers.

After the second Beatles night (which was utter crap) this was the worst night of the season.

BTW, I have a reasonable idea why David A. doesn't sing uptempo songs - check him out in group numbers. He cannot dance. If he sang an uptempo song, this fact would not be obscured. It would be a horror show.

That would be good, though. I'd love to see him spazz dancing and having fun and just being freakin' 17 for a change. He's like an old geezer trapped in a 17 year old's body. He has got to stop letting his stage father pick his songs for him.

Ok, so the opening number was made of even more awesome than I could've ever anticipated. Was that Blake and Nick and Travis on stage twirling and twirling and twirling? And Donnie throwing down with the African dance? With S1 Ashle? Even Lauren couldn't ruin it (although why with the constant mugging still? Why?) And there was Hawk and breakdancer Ashley! And Dmitri and Pasha on the same stage!!! (So scorching hot that I didn't even twig to who the girl was.) And Schwimmer siblings swing dancing! The SYTYCD kids were so awesome they even made the AI kids sing better. (Jason Castro shocked the hell out of me and Michael and Syesha have never sounded better).

Made. Of. Awesome.