As much as I dislike Kristy Lee because I just, well, dislike Kristy Lee, I do think Ramielle should go. She just doesn't have the chops to hang in there. She's lackluster in comparison to the others.

Oh I like Ramiele, but she's so going home tomorrow. The only way she could avoid it is if Michael Johns were to completely blank on the words in the final spot.

I'm stunned that Syesha chose this song. I tell you. Stunned. Only, not.

And, seriously, I can't even let myself stop to ponder how much Paula makes to babble on this show. Just. No.

Yeah, it's one thing to try to do a Dolly song, but to do one that was redone by another big artist and made even bigger? D. U. M. B.

WTF is Michael Johns wearing around his neck? Did someone let Paula dress him right after she took her meds?

Ok, y'all, let's see how many posts this turns out to be! Instead of slowly spamming the thread, I guess I'll just eat up the next twenty posts or so.

Brooke White – Jolene

Yes! Perfect song choice. I predicted she’d pick this. Whoa. Brooke getting the full on pimp treatment. And she’s sounds like crap just here at the beginning. Getting better in the verse, though. Oh, Brooke, don’t smiley smile in the middle of Jolene. Well, it was alright. I wasn’t blown away like I wanted to be. Definitely better than the last two weeks. Randy’s right. It was (oh god, I can’t believe I’m gonna say it) pitchy. Ok, disagree with Simon. The arrangement was fine and I thought the funky bunch was fun. It was just boring and not much better than what you’d here in your corner coffee shop on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

David Cook and Ramiele Malubay. Lovely. It’s the pre-hate section.

David Cook – Little Sparrow

Oh god, somebody cut his hair. And it looks even worse than it did before. How is that possible? And is it . . . red? And the damage control pimping. Ugh. So. Much. Hate. Gallons and gallons. And this arrangement is supremely boring, so obviously he needs to cover others. Please stop trying to make him be original, show. Do you see what you’ve done? He’s gone and strained his tiny little voice. And now, for the tongue bath. Sigh. This fool is really going to win, isn’t he? Y’all, Idol and I are having a serious moment. I don’t know what to do.

Ramiele Malubay – Do I Ever Cross Your Mind? (No idea of the name of this song)

Oh, Dolly. If you don’t have anything nice to say about the voice, just talk about how little and cute she is. That’s what the judges always do. What the hell is she wearing? Does she get dressed in the dark? And when did she completely forget how to sing? She used to could sing a little, couldn’t she? Was it all a mirage? This child is turning into Jasmine Trias right before our very eyes. So out of tune it was not even funny. Yuck. Oooh, the soft peddle. The judges so want to get her out this week. Even Simon didn’t bring the fire like he should have. I think she’s toast this week. Buried in the middle of the show after two hugely popular contestants. That oughta do it.

Jason Castro – Travelin’ Through

Oh, you little stoner boy. Ok, right in his wheelhouse. Dolly, you tried to sell the stretch, but no, babe. It’s just more JC folkie funk. And, y’all, I love it! I do. I find him adorable. Can’t help it. He does so much better with a guitar in his hands. He’s just so much more comfortable. Well, that was sweet. Very nice. He’s such a goofball. Agreeing with Paula. She’s so lucid again this week. What goes on? Simon’s bored. So are a lot of people probably. Sadly, I think Jason’s not much longer for this world, but I just enjoy him.

Carly Smithson – Here You Come Again

Wow. Interesting choice. Not what I was expecting. Oh, solo guitar on the stage pimpage. Really nice arrangement. I really like that she’s turned this into a ballad. And she is in fine voice. Wow. I really am enjoying this. And she doesn’t look like a firing squad is waiting for her backstage. Could’ve done without the glory note at the end (and she almost didn’t hit it). But, this was by far her best on the big stage. Hahahahaha, I love Simon. She does look a hot mess!

Huh. Syesha gets the penulti-pimp spot. The really want Ramiele gone this week.

David Archuleta – Smoky Mountain Memories

False eyelashes. Hah! Love the DP. D'Archie’s already in much better voice than the last two weeks, so yay! Why must he always find the sappiest song available and pick it? He really, really desperately needed to do something up tempo. Beautifully sung. He was in great voice tonight. But . . . I’m bored. No “EEeeeee” for you. Sorry. Sing a song that a 17 year old would sing. But he’s not going anywhere. Maybe next week he’ll get out of the old folks home (continued...)

( continues...) victrola.

Kristy Lee Cook – Coat of Many Colors

Dammit! I knew she’d pick this. Why didn’t Dolly keep her away from it? Bleagh. So much hate. Well at least she sounds like ass just here at the beginning. Cold comfort that. But this week was made for her to get through, anyway. So who cares? Welcome to the top 8, KLC. I’m beginning to think your some kind of demon. Her power is choosing songs specifically designed to manipulate her voting audience. Only Ryan would comment on the French pedi. Hee! Ewww. Don’t get mouthy with Simon, Miss Thing. You are not all that. Trust.

Double dammit! Why are these kids so frikkin’ predictable? Did I not say last week to keep Syesha away from “I Will Always Love You” for the love of all that’s holy? Kids, stay away from Whitney (because you sure as shit know she’s not doing the Dolly version). Whitney is the kiss of death on this show. No matter how well you sing the song, you will never sing it better than Whitney, mkay? And even if you did, Randy “The Dawg” Jackson would never admit that anyone’s version of anything was better than his dynamic duo of Whitney or Maria. (And he’s worked with them, just in case you didn’t know)

Syesha Mercado – I will Always Love You

Oooh, piano pimpage. That's new and different. Dear, Hairdressing. Stop straightening her hair. Who’s doing this to her? Please stop. Y’all can’t even press. Her hair’s full of fly aways and mini-naps. As was bound to happen, she suffers by comparison. And her glory note was just screaming. So, there’s that. Simon is right, as usual. She shouldn’t have touched this song with a ten foot pole. I think she’s got a good shot at being B3 again.

Heh. Michael Johns gets the pimp spot. I’d totally forgotten all about this fool, which probably tells you all you need to know about how I feel about Michael Johns.

Michael Johns – It’s All Wrong But It’s Alright

Haha. He is old! Damn, the show is really trying to pimp these kids out. Why are they all so godawful boring? Because I really think that’s the problem. Most of them have good (some very good) voices. But nary a one of them has that sparkly star quality. So, anyway, I love this performance by Michael Johns. First one ever where he has rocked my world. Loved the voice, loved the song choice, it all worked. Except the . . . what the hell is he wearing around his neck? Is that a cravat? What is it with him and scarf-like accoutrement? Please stop. Who let him dress like Mr. Howell?

Worst by a country mile: Ramiele
Best by a large Margin: Michael

Good tonight: David and Carly
Same old stuff, different day but I like it: Jason and Brooke
Same old stuff, different day and I hate it: Kristy, Syesha and David

Whew. So glad I got that off my chest!

OK, I don't even watch AI, but now I"m really wishing one of them had done something from "Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"...

It would've been so much better! The boring, predictable song choices killed me tonight.

OK, I don't even watch AI, but now I"m really wishing one of them had done something from "Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"...

Well, in the movie she sang "I will always love you".

Didn't love anything. Brooke, my nemesis: Jolene's lyrics could not be more clear. Seriously. Same with "I'll be watching you." So why did you turn both into something poppy and boppy? I hate your 37-year-old Mormobot ass even more than the other suckfests.

Dolly is the bomb, though.

ETA: I meant Every Breath You Take, above.