Amen. I think not knowing Ms. Ross (The Boss) might just be grounds for turning in your "I'm fabulous" card in general, gay, straight, whatever. Who doesn't know Diana Ross? Sad, sad little people. That's who.

Now I will go light a candle, let the wax drip on me and my silk bathrobe and scream out "I'm a winner, baby" while blithely tossing Billy Dee aside. Or something like that.

Dude, I'm just freaked out by twin OB/GYNs. Had they really never heard of "Dead Ringers"?

What the fuck, chefs? If you are on Top Chef and have had six months before the finale, why would you not have developed a dessert or two? It's Top fucking Chef.

I'm pretty sure that all the Buffistae have long since given up on AI being the good and sensible people that I know you to be, but I just have to say that all these guys are sucking just tremendous amounts of ass and the only moment that made me sit up and say "Work!" was when the sparkly boy came out and sang Adele and even then I felt like he should be on RPDR. Ugh. Make it stop. These guys are booty.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled good reality TV.

Kat, I've been watching and tonight was just not good. Sparkly boy is the only one who made me smile. All glammed up with a five o'clock shadow.

He was giving me life! And then all the rest of them systematically stole it from me. I know they want a girl to win this year, but good gravy. At least make it a fair fight. None of these boys could win a HS talent show, let alone AI.

ETA: The weird kid in the black velvet singing Rocket Man also filled me with a strange kind of joy, again not because his singing was really all that great but I was in love with the song choice and just his whole weird vibe and he brought energy to an otherwise dead night. As Mariah said, strangé.

Amazing Race: I still want to go to there. NOW

I have a new TAR RULE: you need to know HOW TO SWIM. Possibly get some quick snorkeling experience if you know you've been chosen for the show. That's now right up there with Driving Stick.

OTOH, Team Dead Ringers did try to overcome their problem together and didn't play any blame games. Admitted their mistakes in the after-interview, too.

The sad thing is, if they'd switched to the underwater assembly sooner, it would have kept them competitive, since the whole "swimming" part of the problem was eliminated.

You can tell a whole lot about these two teams by how they reacted to the underwater assembly: Team Evil Newlyweds complained about the helmets and general experience. Roller Derby Moms just loved it and had fun.

Whoever thought up the tuxedoed diver with the clue has my admiration. I'd have laughed my helmet off.

I also admired the Asian-American girlfriends' reaction to adversity -- finding the humor in the situation. They may be Type-A achievers, but they're not getting rattled by setbacks. That can take you far in a game like this.

Bad luck for the dad/son team -- if it is an ACL tear, that could be finito for them.

I was glad that my initial thought was validated -- that the underwater-with-a-box-on-your-head task would be easier for someone who was afraid of water.

Yep, also that it was not a treasure hunt task -- you'd think after the sandcastle task last episode, the teams might have learned.