Help me, I am confused by "reality" tv, but I want recaps of America's Got Talent because of the adorable opera-singing gothboy. Where should I look for good recaps?

try these:

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SYTYCD

I figured Salt Lake would be good for bringing out the ballroom kids. Sadly, none of them were really spectacular. In order of fabulosity:

Whitney Carson (6.5 on the fabulosity scale) - She is an adorable cutie and she has presence and personality. I think that her dancing is not quite up to her persona. She was good but not great. And Nigel needs to leave that crack alone if he thinks she is anywhere near Anya's league. Her partner, though, was a little slice of heaven. I hope to see him back 2 years from now when he hits 18. Still, a solid little dancer and as Nigel noted, lovely feet.

Johnny Ahn and Whitney Helum(?) (5 on the fabulosity scale) - They are terrible partners. Let's just get that out of the way up front. They had actual anti-chemistry. I think they both could do much better with a different partner. His technique was much better than hers, but as Mary pointed out, he did not pay attention to his partner at all and the male part in ballroom is really all about framing the woman well. If he can't learn to do that, he'll never be a really good ballroom dancer. She was kind of underwhelming to me. She might do better with a stronger partner, but she's not a star. I wouldn't have put either of them through to choreo and I was extremely unsurprised that neither of them made it to Vegas.

Lindsey Arnold (3 on the fabulosity scale) - She is not a ballroom dancer. She's a contempo kid that has trained ballroom and decided to audition with it because she thought it would make her stand out from the other dancers. And it worked, so brava, Lindsey. Old School SYTYCD heads think James' "I just felt like doing a little paso" dance for your life solo way back in season 1. It's not unusual for studio kids to train a little bit in everything, but her latin ballroom was seriously, seriously lacking. The costuming and the attitude did 90% of the work.

I also thought Salt Lake would just bring us better dancers in general, but I found it to be really lacking. When you have that much time to waste on the weirdo story (alien girl) or the feel good story (Big Poppa Peacemakers) then that must mean that you just didn't have that many quality dancers, right? Anyway, the best of the rest in order of fabulosity:

Adrian Lee (8 on the scale of fabulosity) - I remember this kid from S7. I thought then that the only reason he didn't make the show is that he's kind of goofy looking and I still think that's true. He needs to do something with the hair ASAP. That would help tremendously. Kenickie hair will not get it done. That said, he's a lovely dancer. I agree with the judges that the choreography on display was jank, but that's not Kenickie's fault. He is a strong dancer. I'm sure he can pick up choreo quickly. He's tall and well built, so I'm guessing he'll be a more than adequate partner. Seems like hip hop will be a stretch for him, but overall a solid contempo boy.

Derion Kijawa (?) (7.5 on the fabulosity scale) - In addition to the feet (which were bad y'all), I was wanting a little bit more openness in the upper body - really stretch out from the center of chest and open through the back and shoulder blades. If he can do that, he'll have a little something something because his musicality was joyous and his movements were nice and grounded, precise . . . really lovely technique. Hawaii does deliver on teh boy dancers.

Dee Thomasetta (7 on the fabulosity scale) - Underneath the hair flinging (and lordy was there a LOT of hair flinging)lies the bones of a really lovely dancer. Again, good musicality in this one, and clearly she has great technique. Good extension. Great turn out. Decent center (some nice control on a couple of those turns). She has some rough edges to smooth, but I overall quite enjoyed her.

Mariah (Also 7 on the fabulosity scale) - So this was another gimmick audition in that I highly doubt that this little girl's principal training has been in krumping. This was a way for her to stand out to (continued...)

( continues...) the judges in a sea of blonde competition studio trained girls and make an impression - prove that she was bringing more to the table than extensions and acro tricks. I was set to dislike her, but on the real? She was kind of tearing it down. I could do without the outfit which was a parody of what corny white kids think "hard" kids wear in the hood, but the dancing was for the most part on point. She hit hard. She brought attitude and a quirky kind of swagger and I, like Shankdaddy, totally bought it from her. From the looks of the choreo, she's pretty cross-trained so she may have a shot in Vegas, though I need to see more.

Gene Lonardo (6 on the fabulosity scale) - I'm tired of this fool already. He has really good technique. He is a solid dancer. He didn't even need all the green painted rigamarole that he put us through. Why? Also, I think watching him do hip hop would be more painful than watching Billy Bell krump and nobody wants to see that again, so I am thinking he's a no go to Vegas. I gave him the 6 rather than the 5 for faking me out and not winding up a joke audition.

Murphy Yang (4.5 on the fabulosity scale) - Bored now. Yawn. I've seen way better poppers than that on the subway. And I do not care at all about your sob story. Seems like pops may be right, hmmm? He may just not have the chops to be a professional dancer. Many people don't.

Leroy Martinez (4 on the fabulosity scale) - And he got a point just for the name. Snaps, mom. That name is awesome. Anywho, big man can move it, move it. But everybody in that auditorium knew that he would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, make it on the show. So what was the point of putting him through to choreo? Exactly.

Rachel Applehands(?)(2 on the fabulosity scale) - And if that's not her real last name than please don't tell me differently because it makes the hating even sweeter if that is her actual last name. Anyway, this is SYTYCD not Stripper Idol. Ewww. I would've forgiving Leroy all if he'd actually managed to take this fool out when he partnered her in the choreo round. But she made it through to be ignominiously sent home in round one or two of Vegas. Eh.

And Finally:

Good and Bad Feet (a la kat p) = Yes a lot of it is a nice toe point. That always helps. Also, high arches. Either god gave them to you or you work your ass off rolling your feet over the top of soda bottles and such. But it's not just about the look of the feet. Some dancers forget their feet when they dance (some do the same with the hands) and the feet kind of dangle on the end of the ankles like dead fish. They don't dance all the way through their toes, so they have nice tension through the legs, through the calves and then you get to the feet and they are just kinda . . . there. This is not good. It also means, especially in ballroom, that the movement of the feet is sharp and precise and there are a lot of elements (heel leads and such) that are very specific and if done wrong in ballroom, then the shit is just wrong. In jazz/modern/ballet, dancers can use their feet well, for example, when they are not heavy. Often when you see a dancer and her lifts and kicks look labored (a la horse face Ryan) it's more about the feet than about the legs. You can't get that light as a feather feeling without using the feet well. Or they cheat the steps so if you're just looking ankle up, it's gravy, but if you really pay attention to the feet, they slide through the steps, skid when they should hit solid, hop on turns . . . and that's bad feet with kat. I'm sure there's a more standard explanation than that.

I agree with the judges that the choreography on display was jank, but that's not Kenickie's fault.

It was his fault, because he made it up, but it doesn't matter -- he'll be doing other people's choreography and he can just cut it out when he dances for his life.

Thank you for the lesson on feet!

Ah, I totally missed that. Lucky for him the show is not So You Think You Can Choreograph (though I would totally watch the heck out of that show!)

I think my bosses are spying on my dreams - our new show is basically the love child of Top Chef and TAR:

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I think Bravo scooped you: [link]

A friend of mine watched the first episode of Around the World in 80 Plates and hated it.

In addition to the feet (which were bad y'all), I was wanting a little bit more openness in the upper body - really stretch out from the center of chest and open through the back and shoulder blades.

SO MUCH THIS! He has too much tension in his shoulders, and so they're extending a bit above where they should be. It's hard when you're muscular, but he needs to learn to relax through the shoulders and upper body. The rest of his motion will flow much more fluidly if he can learn to do this. Unfortunately this show has less mentoring than I wish it did, because somebody could sort that out really quickly if he had someone working with him.

The feet were seriously bad. Part of it is the same deal with the shoulders, too much tension, not relaxing all the way through. A movement should extend all the way through the body, and that includes the feet all the way to the toes. A dancer who is not in control of his toes is not in control of his body.

That's part of what makes good lines, is that extension all the way through the extremities.