( continues...) I’m enjoying Skylar, but then again I usually do. Just as cute as a button. I don’t know what the outfit is doing but it’s bad.
Joshua – I Believe. OK. So only Fantasia can sing this song because it’s a terrible, terrible song but she made it good just by the sheer force of her will. And it definitely doesn’t work without the full on gospel choir in the background. And I say that as someone who has ‘Tasia’s version of this terrible, terrible song on her iPod and listens to it frequently. And he tried to get down with it. I suppose it was good. But nothing will ever be as good as watching Fantasia destroy this song on the finale with the confetti falling down and the whole all of it all. I hope he sticks around because I do enjoy him but this was iffy. Thank you, Ry Ry. Nobody will ever top that moment with Fantasia. Why even try? And for the love of god, someone get this boy a jacket that fits.
Wait. They are doubling up tonight? I’m so out of the loop. Sadly, I don't want to see most of these kids sing soul classics.
Hollie – Son of A Preacher Man. Hello, pitch problems, my old friend. Oh, well. One out of two ain’t bad. She was all over and under and around the key. She was sometimes even on it. And while I do think she’s less deer in the headlights this week, she’s still frikkin’ boring. And dressed like a 60’s housewife. And wearing bad jewelry. Sad for her.
Colton singing Earth, Wind and Fire? Definitely do not want.
Colton – Emoing the hell out of September. Bitch, please. Phillip Bailey should run out on stage and throttle you. I hate this. I hate everything about it. I want to strangle this fool with the fake leaves falling on that damn piano. Awful. Bad. Bad and awful. Awful and bad. Thank you for hating on him for me , Steven. Judges, just come real with it. That sucked ass. America, please send this boy home. He has committed a crime against funk.
Elise – Let’s Get It On. Oh, Elise. Honey, no. Unless you are actually Marvin Gaye, this song is never not cheesy. I mean, she sounds great, but standing up on that stage with her old lady pants suit and her woman’s body and her Mall hair and crooning a song that is the epitome of chees-tasticness? This is not the way to move the crowd. If Simon were here (Miss him so much) he’d comment on how cabaret it all was. And for once, the judges don’t sugar coat it with her. Of course, they hate her and want to get her off the show, but still . . . they are not wrong. Randy, especially, was spot on with the oversinging, especially on a song like this. And now I gotta go wash my mouth out with soap for saying Randy was right.
Phillip – Midnight Hour. Wilson Pickett. What? Go ‘head, little funky white boy. He’s got a little Joe Cocker feel on this one. That’s new and fun. The back end of the song got away from him and he fell a little bit too far off the melody for my tastes, but that was fun. And after the crazy over the top perfection of the first song, fun is likely more than enough to get him over the hump this week. Ryan refusing to dance because it doesn’t go with his look? I love that wee man!
Aww. It’s the Honey Dip. Did he just say he was going to be singing Vision of Love on the show tomorrow? Because that would be completely and utterly wrong on every level and yet all kinds of amazing.
Jessica – Try a Little Tenderness. She’s wearing some kind of weird jodhpur/gaucho pants again. AGAIN. Make it stop. But her voice sounds amazing. I mean tear the roof off the mother amazing. I love the grit here. I still don’t think she knows anything about what this song is about, but she did do a lot better. And the judges basically tell her not to be such a robot. I concur. Agreeing with the judges once more? My world is all torn asunder.
Skylar – Heard it Through the Grapevine. With fiddle. And way too much cleavage. Good heavens, girl. Put those away. And it’s fun and funky. Well sung. Full of the Skylar-ness of it all. Agreed that she is an amazing performer. She sucks you in. If I ever felt assed enough to vote, I’d toss a few texts her way.