And she's so spray-tanned ALL OVER. Freaks me out.

Sasha is also adorable.

That last routine was incredible, but I kept worrying the bars were going to fall over.

I was kind of annoyed that they made her wear a garter, but didn't do anything with it.

My bottom - Ricky & Ryan, Missy & Wadi (although I love them both), Iveta & Nick (although they were good, audiences don't like Bollywood) Could also be Clarice & Jess.

I sat on my couch all day and literally watched every episode so far of SYTYCD so I'd be caught up for tonight. Good day.

My three favorite couples tonight, I think, were Caitlynn & Mitchell, Melanie & Marko, and Sasha & Alexander. But everyone was good!! I also really like Nick, but Iveta has always annoyed me in all three seasons she's auditioned for, and I really can't put my finger on why. However, I am a sucker for Bollywood routines, so that was fun.

I think this is going to be a pretty solid season.

Well crap my computer froze and the stream kept freezing so I didn't get to watch the woodpeckers or anything after that.

Top 20, Take Two. Still salty about having twenty of these fools to keep up with!

Paired dance ins? Umm, no. I don’t like. Sasha/Alex and Caitlyn/Mitchell did the best. Ashley and Chris and Ryan/Ricky were awful. Miranda/Robert were pretty great, too. Iveta is killing that dress. I want to see individual dance ins. Boo.

Cat in yellow lace? Totally shouldn’t work but it does because she is magic. Magic in a yellow doily.

Debbie Reynolds!!! Oh my god, Debbie Reynolds!!! Bow down! I can’t even. I just. Wow. Yay. Oh my word. No words. I wanna hear what Debbie has to say about hip hop.

And damn, the bitch could dance. That’s the good shit right there, y’all.

Ricky and Ryan/Jazz/Mandy/Addicted to Love – I don’t think Ryan can do sexual tension. I don’t think she can do anything other than smiley. Her sex face in rehearsals is tragic. Addicted to Love. Oh, Mandy Moore. So stuuck in the 80s. God love her. Ricky is trying to serve and play to Ryan and Ryan is playing to the crowd. Her body is doing the right moves, but I don’t think she’s looked at him once. Even when she’s in a simple move like sitting on his thigh. His face is right there. Look at him! And now neither one is even looking at the other. The technique on both of them is sick, but they might as well have been doing side by side solos for all the interaction they had. Ricky did about seventeen triple turns in that routine and each one was more fierce than the last. What is that on Ryan’s breast? Super distracting. And Mary is at her most orange. So sad that they keep trying to sell this girl and she doesn’t have the it thing. Are they just not gonna deal with the fact that they never even looked at each other throughout the whole routine. I have nothing to say about it. I’ll have forgotten it by the end of the first commercial break. Competent and forgettable.

Caitlyn/Mitchell/Stacey Tookey/Contemporary/Turning Tables – And Mitchell continues to hate on unattractive people. He and I would get along so well. He’s hilarious. “ You ain’t ‘posed to say that on television.” Ha! Chairs, lamps and props. Oh, my. Excellent musical choice. Pretty from the very start. Controlled yet a sense of abandon. Nice entrance into that lift on his shoulders out of the chair. That’s a lot harder than it looks. And that leap into his arms and then she’s pushing down on his head? The leap over the chair? And then the mirrored individual work? All so challenging and all executed so, so well. Nicely synchronized and then the call back and repeating choreo at the end when they return to the chairs? That was very good choreography from Stacey. There was a lot going on. And I agree with Mary, very good partnership between the two. Cat to the rescue with the kleenex? Adorbs. She’s the best host on TV. Blood on the dance floor literally. That’s the way I like it!

Wadi/Missy/Jean Marc/Cha Cha/Cannibal - Jean Marc. Yay! When he brings it he reallly brings it. I loved watching him try to teach Wadi how to move those hips. Right at the start, Missy is doing quite well. Wadi is lacking in the hip action and in the carriage. His frame is really really bad. And he has pancake hands and really terrible arm placement. And as the dance goes on, Missy’s hip action is falling apart, too. She’s moving her feet, but not her hips. The lift was nice. The whole last half of the dance you could just see them lose steam and kind of start praying for it to be over. Also, that was not even the hardest Cha Cha Jean Marc’s done for the show. It was so slow. Agreed with Nigel, the Wadi’s lift were fine but actually dancing . . . not so much. Mary gives such good technical critiques in ballroom. I love it. Debbie is a dirty old woman. Wadi? Two weeks in, and I’m still unimpressed.

Iveta and Nick dressed like Princess Jasmine and Aladdin? I’m already skeerid.

Iveta/Nick/Bollywood/Nakul Dev Mahajan/Baawre - You are a sexy beast, girl! Work those leopard pants. And did she just say he has chicken legs? Cause that’s just funny. No Bollywood has ever reached the heights of that first Katee/Josh one. Let’s see what happens. Nice backbend there, Nick. He just kind of always turns it out. I gotta say I am still loving me this tall, pale ass white boy. They seemed to be doing OK. They were together for the most part. She’s a little manic, though, and as the routine went on, she started to get sometimes a little late on her moves. And he seems to be sharper, crisper in some way. And I’m sorry, they are just a poorly matched pair. She is spray tan orange and he is pasty white. She still looks like his mother. And they just don’t fit. I thought the routine was fine. He was stronger than she was. The judges cannot say one specific thing that they liked about this couple. Debbie has taken to talking about how excited she is to be on the show rather than even try to offer a critique. I can easily see them hitting the bottom.

Robert/Miranda/NappyTab/Hip Hop/Break Ya Neck – So it was a Hulkamania t-shirt? Oh, that is so sad. A woodpecker? Oh, for fuck’s sake. They are just . . . I’m so tired. Why are they still here? Miranda is breaking it down. Oh my word. Go ahead and get it, girl. This is actually really good if you take away the ridiculous back story. Aw, she missed the flip, but she covered really well and that doesn’t take away from the fact that she is funky, funky, hitting it hard ridiculous. And still throwing flips off the stage, what? I didn’t even watch him at all. The cancer has made Mary wise. Miranda was on another level in that routine. And so I guess we see why they “pulled” hip hop this week, right Nigel?

Jess/Clarice/Contemporary/Stacey Tookey/Cathedrals – He is so frikkin’ annoying. What is with the baby voice? And he’s really bad at lifts. She seems like her core is engaged, he’s just? Well, it takes a lot of technique and he can’t just muscle the lifts up like some of the hip hop kids, so that’s going to be tough to fake. Just at the beginning, she’s gorgeous and heis clearly struggling with the freer movement voabulary. And the lifts are a hot mess. He almost dropped her in the second one. You can tell he’s just really uncomfortable with the movement. He needs to let go more. He doesn’t throw himself into the moves the way a contemporary dancer would. He’s trying to be clean and neat the way you would in Gene Kelly jazz but this routine is not that. He needs to get his Twyla Tharp on. The turns were fine, everything else not so much. I feel like about halfway through the routine, she pulled back on her range of motion in order to not continue to blow him off the stage. Nigel’s right, it was uncomfortable. And I think it was more on Jess than on Clarice. I disagree with Mary here in that I don’t think Jess was emotionally connected to the piece or to her. The effort and the strain showed on his face through the whole routine. He looked terrified and it showed in his dancing. I also think they have a good chance to land in the B3 again this week.

Jordan/Tadd/Jean Marc/Viennese Waltz/Fade Into Me - Did he just call her stupid? Oh, snap! Immediate points off to Jean Marc for using a Cookie Monster song. Tadd has got some nice carriage going on. Look at him open up through that rib cage. Alright then. Work it out. Jordan is just a really good dancer which is why it’s such a shame she defaults to the sexpot thing all the time. The footwork in the closed hold portion is not the greatest. But the upper body on both of them was quite lovely. And was there really only that one section at the end there where they were in closed hold for what might generously be called an extended period of time? Because really? That is true, what Nigel said. The port de bras on Tadd was insane for a b-boy. And he did a shout out to Donyelle’s Vietnamese Waltz! Love this kid. Ok, Debbie. Jordan is not Cyd Charisse. Don’t let it get away from you.

Melanie/Marko/Mandy Moore/Jazz/Sing with a Swing – Hmmm, contemporary last week and jazz this week? Give them a challenge, show. Oh, props. I love Prop!Mandy. Melanie’s practice dance shoes? Adorable. I want them. Oh this is so cute and fun. This is like Broadway, you know if Tasty were a good Broadway choreographer. Nice split leap in second. That is hard. It kind of trailed off at the end there. They didn’t have a lot to do once the techno beat kicked in but stand around and vamp. But they vamped very prettily. And yes, nice recovery from the dropped hat. It was good. Not as good as last week, but that’s a high bar. I think they are beyond safe.

Sasha/Alexander/NappyTab/Hip Hop/Coming Home – Soldier coming back? So is this the book end to No Air then? Lyrical hip hop must die. Coming Home. Why are they so literal? Sasha is already tearing it up. And Alex is making an impression just by walking forward. He’s still a little pulled up. He needs to lose that ballet daner center and get more grounded, but he’s doing a lot better than some of the other classically trained kids they’ve had on the show. She was killing it and he was keeping up pretty well all things considered. They definitely had a better connection this week than last. Ok, it wasn’t good enough to wring tears from the judgery. Oh, kids. Heart hands make the Baby Jesus cry. Don't let Jesse and msbelle and all the rest fool you. Noooooo.

Ashley/Chris/Spencer Liff/Broadway – No swag. Just as I expected. Thank god, no Tasty. Cell Block Tango-esque. Ooooh. She looks amazing. Wow, she is dancing her ass off and he’s standing behind bars and kicking. Humm. It’s very Katee/Twitch door dance. He did get in a fairly solid pirouette. Even a double pirouette which was a little shaky but nicely done for a b-boy. These two still have very little chemistry and I kind of can’t believe this routine got the pimp slot. I do think that they have the most versatile crew of b-boys they’ve ever had on the show. First two on the train. I did miss it. I admit it. And oh, Ashley is holding up an 01 instead of a 10. Baby. No.

Once again, nobody completely bombed. But unlike last week, there was really only one standout routine.

Standout

Caitlyn and Mitchell

Very Good

Miranda and Robert (Elevated by the fact that Miranda ate that choreography’s lunch)

Jordan and Tadd (The routine could’ve been more challenging but it was danced well)

Melanie Marko (See above)

OK

Iveta and Nick (He outdanced her in a just so-so routine)

Sasha and Alex (She outdanced him in a NappyTab routine full of recycled bits from better routines)

Ashley and Chris (She outdanced him in a decent routine)

Bottom Three

Ricky and Ryan (Technique was there, no connection at all. Also, I hate her. There, I said it)

Wadi and Missy (He was terrible. She was passable. The routine was not particularly challenging)

Jess and Clarice (His partnering skills are sorely lacking. She tried but there was no saving this routine)

Bootees

Boys: Wadi and Jess. Jess is just not strong enough as a partner. I never got the Wadi-mania. He just has no spark for me and he was terrible in that Cha Cha.

Girls: Ryan and Clarice. I think Clarice will be taken down by Jess, which is a real shame because she is a lovely dancer. I am praying that the judges will see their way clear to boot Ryan should she land in the bottom three.

Sadly, I actually don’t think Ricky and Ryan will even hit B3. I think it’s much more likely that we’ll see Nick and Iveta here or maybe even Miranda and Robert again (although she was very good, I don’t feel like she has a very big fanbase and he has a lot of foes) Were that the case and holding the other two B3 denizens constant, I think the judges would boot either Nick or Robert in favor of keeping Wadi due to their inexplicable hard on for that kid. For the girls, Clarice is my only sure boot. The other girl bootee will depend largely on the composition of the girls B3. In a Clarice, Missy, Miranda B3, I think clearly Missy stays. In a Clarice, Missy, Iveta B3, I’m not so sure. I think Mary would fight hard for Iveta and Nigel does like saying 10 Dance Champion, and there are lots of other great contemporary girls in the competition. They might let Missy go early.

In other words, I still have no clue who’s going home this week. Times two since the judges wimped out last week and didn’t cut anyone.

Melanie’s practice dance shoes? Adorable.

Right?

I'm totally charmed by Tadd. And Nick and Melanie and Sasha, but I was already charmed by them.

OMG, Ryan's FACE. I don't think bob bob even saw that goony smile I was going crazy about last week, but this week he was laughing his ass off at how she was supposed to be "sexy." It's like her default, like Toddlers & Tiaras!