Melrose came back a few times, they'd totally have her.

The other thing being that even a lot of the girls who were fab in the past are waaaay too old now for anything.

gee ... they're what, all of 25?

I'd watch it if Elyse came back. Which is highly doubtful.

She was working steadily for a long time, overseas, wasn't she? In China and elsewhere?

Yep. And blogging about it on lj.

So I watched The Voice. Loved the Voice. Have things to say about the Voice, but not right now 'cause Idol is on ruining my day. I do not like the idea of doing duets tonight at all as these kids have shown themselves to be the worst harmonizing bunch of folks of all time on the results show group numbers, but here we go.

Jacob solo/Oh, No Not My Baby – Eww. I’m so, so tired of him. And he’s off all the time. Maybe he will now realize how out of tune he goes? Probably not. He sings like a 65 year old church granny. Who wants to see this? Who would pay for this? Who still thinks this kid is a star in the making? Who ever did? Can I smack them repeatedly about the head and chest? So tired of this fool. And he’s sharp. Again. Some more. All over the place. And all the scatting and runs were so out of tune. Why? Both I and the me in the mirror hate you. A lot. Steven Tyler, you have become such a disappointment to me. Bring it real, JLo. Little spaces where it wasn’t perfect? Try the whole song. A little sharp, Randy? Try sharp all the way through. And is Randy dressed like Jacob tonight? Eww

Lauren solo/Where You Lead – Why do they keep flogging the Miley Cyrus thing? Why? It’s old and tired and Miley looks like a coked out crazy person, which I’m hearing that she is now so there you go. I guess it’s appropriate since both she and Lauren look about 50 years old. She sounds really good on this song I don’t know at all. Sadly, she looks worse than ever. Kind of 1976 lounge singer. For some reason, I’m imagining her as the singing act on that show where all the girls worked as waitresses in that restaurant. Maybe because this song sounds like the theme song. And now I can’t think of the name of the show and it’s going to drive me crazy and, oh! I got it. It’s a Living (which later became Making a Living, right?) Anyway, that was a great performance. She sang really well. The song suited her. She seemed comfortable in her skin. I was bored by her and it, thus the detour into bad 70’s sitcoms. The judges are so beyond useless.

Haley and Casey/I Feel the Earth Move – Sigh. So expected. Both the pairing and the song. They’ll never top their duet on Moanin’ so what’s the point? Casey’s under the pitch, so the harmonies sound like ass, but they always do because this group is just terrible at singing with other people. Haley sounds great on her solo parts and then Casey starts singing and it all goes to shit. Haley also looks amazing. I want that dress so I can wear it to my friend’s wedding in July. I’m so pleased that she’s doing well because she can really, really sing and she was taking it on the chin the first couple of weeks. (And I was guilty of sleeping on her, too). That was still a big ol’ mess, but at least she was good.

Scotty solo/You’ve Got a Friend – I wish he would stop turning every song into a country song. Babyface, you are trying to make this kid do something he can’t do. He must countrify everything. I think he’s hardwired that way. And this is the most restrained, least downhome he’s been the whole time he’s been on the show. And yes, he still sounds like a country singer because he is. But He’s singing it straight for the most part. Sitting on the stairs. No heinous side mic. He’s even managing to rein in the creepy sex faces. And his voice sounds really gorgeous. Wow. This is the most I’ve liked this kid in forever. That was really quite lovely. Well done, Babyface and Jimmy IV. For one brief, 2 minute span, I remembered why I used to like him. Steven Tyler is right. He’s never been better than tonight.

James solo/Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow – I love this song. So sad this twitchy fool is gonna sing it. And he really is the king of the pander. Your fans requested it on the Idol forums ont the interwebs, did they? Fuck you and fuck them, too. And of course, he sounds great. Loved the spare opening and the a cappella section. He sounds great as the music kicks in. The way he’s doing the song fits his style and image perfectly. And bitch can just sing. Even the frikkin’ scream was more or less in tune. This twitchy fool is gonna win this show. Dammit. It was good. Whatever. I still hate him like LiLo hates rehab.Yes, Dawg, you have been saying “in it to win it” all night, much to our chagrin. And why does he not know what “turn the other cheek” means? I think the “R” on his sweater stands for remedial. But he’s not wrong. Fool is totally gonna win this show. Oh, and you auditioned for the show because you wanted to try to win? No shit. Hate this fool. Haate him.

Lauren and Scotty/Up on the Roof - Why are the duet pairings repeats? Wow, she sounds incredible here. So does he. I’m kind of loving this. And is that harmony? Well slap my mama and call me nappyheaded. That was great. It was better than great. It was great great. Well done, country kids. They both had really good nights.

That means the final duet is for James and Jacob? Oh, that is going to be a train wreck.

Haley solo/Beautiful – What is she wearing on her head? And she’s getting the pimp slot. And what is she wearing now? She looks like Olivia Newton John’s muse sister from Xanadu. Which come to think of it is not a bad thing. I would rock that look every day if I could. I don’t know this song at all. It’s not very good. But she sounds amazing on it. And towards the end here, she is really just owning it. She can do anything with her voice, family. Just anything. She’s bad. Randy is blaming her for the fact that the song is boring. She made that crappy song sing. Yet more proof (as if we needed it) that Randy is an idiot.

James and Jacob/I’m Into Something Good – I expect this to be terrible. Oh, the too tight white pants on Durbin. My eyes, my eyes! And Durbin is rocking the tremendous pot belly. Who knew? Ha. When they spun JLo around she almost had a Britney beaver shot moment. I hear you Steven Tyler. What the hell? That was some ridiculous shit. What a horrid way to close out the night.

Jacob has to go this week, no? I mean, I’d take James instead, but there’s no way he’s going home.

Bourdain named 2011's top CelebreStoner [link] (someone thanked them for the honor on Facebook)

So! Waiting for Godot interrupted my TAR broadcast. I was as far as chocolate gnomes and Top Chef style shenanigans. What happened?

Zev and Justin started in first, but got behind at the first task. At the roadblock, things got tense between the Globetrotters and the Goths (lots of bitching), and then the Goths did not read the clue carefully and took a cab to the pit stop when they supposed to walk, so Zev and Justin walked right pat them to the mat. Goths are gone.