Things are going to get much much much worse in the very near future for the very long term.

It sucks.

I wish I could help more.

Me too.

Hugs to you and all, Kat. I do have faith that you'll be able to negotiate/navigate troubles with more resourcefulness and resilience than most people... but that doesn't make it feel any easier, I'm sure.

In my not ready to stop whining about my maybe-Lyme's file: Almost all the symptoms I have are just really exaggerated things I have already from fibro - aches, forgetfullness, trouble concentrating, sleep issues, muscle weakness. So I read on the internets about several people developing fibro after having Lyme's. If this just advances the severity of my fibro I seriously think I will have to change a ton of my life.

eta - ugh, catching up. Kat - sorry for the continued and increasing overwhelmingness.

I'm so sorry, Kat.

Me too, Kat.

Kat, I wish I could be useful to you. At the very least, I hope LJ comes back up so you can vent soon.

There's a seventeen year old instructor at krav. M's been training longer than I have. Her mother trains, and trained pregnant with M's littlest brother, who just started training himself.

Some Mondays I get to teach with her. She's incredibly bubbly and enjoying the hell out of seventeen. When she trains a rifle on you, it takes a couple seconds to process past the bounce and the smile.

But she's good. I taught with her yesterday. I watched her go super hard core on the warmup, but still being warm and friendly. When we do go all out, I watch this beginner class to see if the more out of shape people are coping properly, making sure they're not bailing or dispirited. The last time we taught together, an entire class of groundwork which is very exhausting, the two largest and most unfit students later called it the best class they'd ever had.

This week we had another big guy who wasn't fit, who left the room more than once to catch his breath. He introduced himself to us afterwards, to say he'd just started that day, and that he hoped not to have to leave as much in the future and that it was a really good class and he was looking forward to training again.

I'm not sure what my compulsion is to write about this here is. I don't know. I know I'm all verklempt about the sunny disposition of the kick-assed teenager and the people who take a challenge in the spirit that it's given and the ability to touch people when you didn't know you were going to--when perhaps you worried you'd drive them away.

It just kinda felt like I should post it. I had an appalling weekend this past weekend, one that had me just about convinced to hide myself away from the public. And then I have an evening like that and I realise that even though I don't always have the energy to go out and make contact with people it would be dangerous to expend any to avoid them. Magic lives in other people--it's just a matter of looking in the right places.

t /schmoop

I'm glad you posted it, ita.

ita, I like your brand of schmoop. Not to sound all cliched, but it's very life-affirming.