Do the men say, "smile!"?

This ones drives me crazy. I am neutral-to-friendly to strangers, depending on my mood. If I'm having a good day, I'm going to probably smile at small and fuzzy things, be all birds and flowers and one with humanity and shit. (It's really kind of freaky.) So that's my inclination. So when blasted with "smile" I do cause it really isn't that far away from my mind and then promptly start scowling and get all pissed off and hate the world.

Actually, the more time I spend around Buffistas, the less I feel like I'm walking on landmines. Being here helps me become more aware of the things I say and do, and how that's perceived by others.

And also, I don't feel like I have the mentality you're speaking of, so I don't feel like you're trashing a group that include me, and thus me by association, so again, no landmines.

I wonder how often our lovely Buffista guys feel like they're walking on landmines.

I don't want to be a bitch, but I guess I'm going to be one anyway.

If a guy -- Buffista or no -- assumes that he knows what it's like to be a woman, that he knows better than I do (although I'm actually the gender in question) what cultural standards apply to women, well, I'm going to be cranky about it.

Somehow, when the old Italian men in my neighborhood flirt with me and beg for a smile, I don't mind. I find it charming, in fact. Which is odd, because I will cheerfully murderize anyone else who tells me to smile.

Women, of course, are supposed to be naturally cheerful and friendly.

Or at least decorative. Bleagh.

And if you're decorative, you're supposed to be grateful for the attention, no matter how obnoxious it is.

Oh, my god, the legs. CLOSE YOUR DAMN LEGS.

Oh gods yes. I don't give up an inch on the seat/armrest if I don't have to.

I knew what you were saying. I was trying to make the leetle joke, but of course without your being able to see my face, it didn't come across.

Ooops. I over-helped. t /Willow

I got Jesse's leetle joke.

I wonder how often our lovely Buffista guys feel like they're walking on landmines.

Well, there was that time in Afghanistan...

Ooops. I over-helped.

Heh. No worries. Maybe it helped some lurker, some where!

If a guy -- Buffista or no -- assumes that he knows what it's like to be a woman, that he knows better than I do (although I'm actually the gender in question) what cultural standards apply to women, well, I'm going to be cranky about it.

My beef was mostly with "allowed" and how you mean it.

I don't disagree with your point, just the degree of cultural disaproval.

And if you're decorative, you're supposed to be grateful for the attention, no matter how obnoxious it is.

And if you're *not* decorative, you're supposed to be infinitely *more* grateful for the attention, even if it's rape.