And to criticize myself, I'd edit

people have compared me to Sarah Vowell

to

people have compared my essays to Sarah Vowell's

and I say plagiarize away iff'n it suits. I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't want you to make use of it.

"My super power would be cooler than Sarah Vowell's."

Hil, thanks. I'll look at it tomorrow. I just want to be a help, not a hindrance. My dad taught me algebra. But he had some history of teaching, which I do not.

Allyson, take the suggestions, bend them to your words.

Also, (and this isn't really relevent, just me musing) but the concept is sort of interesting in light of that story of the teacher's hiring being recinded after her potential bosses ran across her myspace or whatever which included innocuous pictures of her (of age) drinking. There's a huge comprehension/understanding gap. I know I sort of straddle it. On one hand, hello? I'm here. I share. You find me on flickr, you know what I look like, my friends, etc. OTOH, while googlable, you have to fill in some blanks, which I try not to supply. I get myself off the online whitepages.

ANYWAY, the thing is, there's a bit of a double standard going on. In a small town, that (oooh, she enjoys a drink now and then) would probably not be that big a deal (I'm talking gossip, not internet.) Hell, my town was smallish mentally, and lord knows I'd seen my teachers coming out of bars or indulging at a restaurant.... Wouldn't get her fired, except maybe in a dry county. But people who see the internet as a lair of weirdos see this public knowlege, like she's flaunting something, they freak the fuck out. (I wonder... no, actually, I don't... if it'd been a guy.)

Doesn't mean you shouldn't be cautious about what you put out online, from an employment perspective. There's a few pictures that while not incriminating, I'd wish I'd not put online back in the day, but they are difficult to find, thank god. But that there is a freak out potential for those not comfortable with the whole idea of an online existance.

I THANKSGIVING WITH AXE MURDERERS! is how they might see parts of my life.

There's a few pictures that while not incriminating, I'd wish I'd not put online back in the day, but they are difficult to find, thank god.

Mine is an evil laugh....

Thanks, JZ. I think the thing that's blocking me is that I'm irritated at having to do this...I think some folks at my publisher are aiming the bar way too high, and are going to end up sad. I mean, I'm flattered that they think there's some sort of shot, but I'm sitting over here on the reality stoop.

I THANKSGIVING WITH AXE MURDERERS! is how they might see parts of my life.

Hee.

I think it's a long shot, Allyson, but you've got to play to win.

I was adding axe murderers to this draft even as sarameg was typing. It's the inevitable axe murderer crosspost. I think Allyson would kick ass on the Daily Show, plus we could all meet Jon Stewart vicariously.

My publicist thinks you ought to have me come on your show to babble about online communities and how axe murderers from the internet met, survived and changed the world, despite what their mothers' said.

It may be that she thinks you and your audience will enjoy my book. Some people think it has a geekish charm and shows what social networking on the web is really all about.

It may also be that she owes you a favor and feels that my remarkable shortness will make you appear tall and Clooneyesque, and even a wee New York political satirist deserves to feel like Clooney once in his life. Or it may have something to do with the fact that people have compared my essays to Sarah Vowell's, and you and Sarah always seem to have a raucous good time when she drops by.

Please do not let Sarah Vowell see the above paragraph or she will totally kick my ass.

Actually, the only reason I'm writing is to get your awesome rejection letter...can you sign it personally? Ira Glass didn't sign the TAL one, and I was totally bummed.

Hee.

At least there was no rifle this time. That worried me.

Allyson, can't hurt to try. Well, ok , the worst is how YOU take a possible rejection. And yeah, that would suck and I'd rather you not have that. But hey, hon? You wrote a freaking book. It's being published. It's good. If that isn't taking a risk... I'm very proud of you. And when you come out here, in addition to Atomic, I know one other independent bookstore owner and mentioned you to the people at the nearby B&N and eyes lit up. So there.

Oh and Jesse? Don't make me. Cowboy hat. (actually, isn't yahoo forcing a move to other sites? Which means those shots may go bye bye online.... thank god.)

I THANKSGIVING WITH AXE MURDERERS!

If one of your crew doesn't claim this as a tag in November, I will be very sad.

I mean, I'm flattered that they think there's some sort of shot, but I'm sitting over here on the reality stoop.

In which case, feel free to write any whack-ass thing you want. Since you've got no shot, you have nothing to lose by turning the silly or the snarky or whatnot right up to eleven. The pressure's off.

And I know this is all very easy for me to say, who has nobody's expectations at stake at all, so feel free to tell me to shit in my hat and wear it.