I have an embarrassment of lighters and fire devices. I'll toss some from the balcony in your general direction.

Except my balcony faces southest, so I don't think this will work.

The state of Mississippi called and woke me up this morning.

What did Mississippi want?

What did Mississippi want?

They were actually returning my call, so I can't complain. I just wish Mississippi had slept in a little bit.

Except my balcony faces southest, so I don't think this will work.

women compete for Bret Michaels

Why on earth?

I love my company.

The accounting department is tired of us hourly people sending in hours every two weeks and making them have to calculate pay for one department in one subsidiary, so they've made us salary. We still get paid for the OT we earn, however.

Alas, making our pay schedule match the salaried pay schedules put the total pay amounts out of kilter. "Oh, well," the higher ups said, "just give them an extra paycheck to make it all even." This is the second time they've said, "Oh, just throw in some extra money to even stuff up."

Plus, this is the company that said, "You have health insurance from day one. No waiting period. No, really, if we hire you, you're insured. Yes, even you with the husband way past warranty."

I didn't think companies like this really existed in this right-to-work state. Plus we're benefitting from having the accounting decisions being controlled by a company back east.

Must make sure never to lose this job. Must make sure never to lose this job.

Why on earth?

They're trying to court the skeezy trailer trash market?

Some of my girlfriends wanted us all to go on a cruise together. I keep putting them off because while I love each and every one of them very dearly, being stuck on a boat together, sharing the same room without the option of escape? I would murder them.

I will say that cruise ships are pretty big (depending) and have a lot of places to be and things to do separately, if your friends are the type that are OK with that.

And speaking of Bret Michael's, my favorite cheesy Las Vegas casino now has Vince Neil's tattoo shop attached to it. I think it's not my favorite anymore, due to the new ratio of frat boys to non.

There was just a commercial on VH-1 for a new show called "Scott Baio is 45 and Single." It's him going to a relationship counselor, talking to ex-girlfriends, etc.

There's a Charles in Charge joke in there somewhere...

I have no idea how to go about writing a cover letter to the Daily Show.

I also keep telling publicity that I have a face for radio, but they're insisting on me sending more photos, anyway.

This is so stoopid.

All of my work today consists of filing and organizing. It's sucking out my soul. /first world problems