In conclusion: I am babbling.

But we love your babbling.

ND, I still say you're Swahili/Lithuanian.

We've covered this. I'm Chamoan.

I absolutely don't want my family to be apprised of some aspects of my personal life (::cough::kink::cough::), but that makes me feel dishonest sometimes.

I don't know. If I'm allowed to speak as a parent after less than a year of it, I'd have to say that there are some things parents neither need nor want to know. The kink definitely seems like one of those things. I do hope, very very much, that someday (a good long time from now) Matilda learns and knows her sexuality and has someone good and loving to explore it with -- but if she even attempt to tell me any of the details I'm going to run from the room with my fingers in my ears screaming lalalalalala.

Actual orientation, though -- ergh, Fay, I'm sorry it's all so prickly and hard. And definitely something I would want to know as a parent.

There is an alarm siren going off in my section of the terminal. It has been going for at least an hour now. Gate agents have started taping things over the speakers to at least muffle it a bit. Um, shouldn't actually fixing this be a priority?

Oh, that happened to me the last time I was in the airport. About drove us crazy. The gate agents told us that the alarm had to be turned off by Homeland Security, and they wouldn’t do it until they had investigated the incident and deemed it to be safe. Ridiculous.

Fay, once again, you and I are as one. I absolutely don't want my family to be apprised of some aspects of my personal life (::cough::kink::cough::), but that makes me feel dishonest sometimes.

I got over that a long time ago. It just makes everyone’s life easier if, for example, my mother thinks I’m still a virgin. Yes, I know @@

Actual orientation, though -- ergh, Fay, I'm sorry it's all so prickly and hard. And definitely something I would want to know as a parent.

Yeah, but you’re a COOL parent.

Not telling people about certain personal aspects of yourself is not dishonest.

Lying if they ask is dishonest, but often also wise. Not telling is your right, even if they're your family - you're an adult, you get to decide who knows what about you. Only exceptions I hold are, your spouse/life partner ought to know what you like sexually, even if they don't want to do it with you, and your parents ought to NOT know anything about your sexuality unless they really have to.

YMMV.

But then, the idea of being totally open and honest with them about my private life gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies and makes my brain curl up in a fetal position and rock back and forth, slamming its medulla against the inside of my skull.

Hell, I had a hard enough time telling my family (after I'd been married for years) that we were having a baby. Too close to Hard Proof, you know?

(But I have Known Issues, and avoided bringing up the whole period thing for months, until I ran out of the stash of mom's mostly forgotten pre-menopause feminine products in the basement and had no choice.)

JZ, I think you're drawing a good line. At some point, you're very likely to find out your offspring's orientation -- if for no other reason, when you're introduced to boyfriends, girlfriends, or some of each.

Maybe the better way to say it is, if you're afraid to introduce your parents to a potential offspring-in-law, your relationship with your parents has problems.

But there's a big distance between, "This is my significant other, Siggie," and "Siggie and I like to [insert description of random sexual act here]."

Diet Dr. Pepper.

Zenkitty, your statement

your parents ought to NOT know anything about your sexuality unless they really have to

really bothers me, maybe because we may be defining "sexuality" differently.

I agree that parents really have no business knowing what their offspring like to do in bed (or other preferred locations).

But I've heard too many statements over the years to the effect that referring to a same-sex SO is an unacceptable flaunting of one's sexuality/sex life. And to the extent that referring to someone as your spouse inescapably carries implications about your sexual orientation, there is a disclosure of sexuality there. But that's true regardless of your gender and the gender of your spouse.

Which is why I distinguish between sexual orientation and sexual practices.

(But I have Known Issues, and avoided bringing up the whole period thing for months, until I ran out of the stash of mom's mostly forgotten pre-menopause feminine products in the basement and had no choice.)

I'm surprised that i don't have these issues. My mother is very wierd about it. When I lived at home, I had to keep my "sanitary products" in my room, hidden in the closet. I remember when I finally lived in an apartment my 4th year in college, when I could put my tampons under the sink!!