breakfast burrito, much later:

lol-presidents has some absolutely hysterical ones. [link]

Just got a call from Hec -- Emmett's team won both its games today (one respectable win, one 25-4 slaughter) so they'll be sticking around for the finals tomorrow. All the boys are right now in the swimming pool of a Fremont motel, splashing around and feeling sassy. So, yay!

But, bleah. I spent the afternoon cleaning our bathroom, which desperately needed it, and said task included (whitefonted for extreme revoltingness) dragging almost an entire human head's worth of smelly, slimy blond and gray hairs out of the sink drain, following which I decided that cleaning for the day was Over. I went to the corner store to buy a bottle of stout to cleanse me of the filth, and found that they don't take the one credit card I have. Back home, I discovered that the gin is gone, so my back-up martini plan is also out. And Matilda just caressed my face lovingly and jammed one razorlike fingernail up my nose.

All of which is extremely first world nibbled by ducks (though at least not quite my-diamond-shoes-are-too-tight), so somebody please tell me you wish you had a root and a husband so I can STFU.

t /mememe

And Matilda just caressed my face lovingly and jammed one razorlike fingernail up my nose.

OUCH!!!!!!!

My nose aches in sympathy. That hurts like a motherfucker.

I'm thinking that the whole nose-jabbing thing is pretty universal.

Nobody ever mentioned how much babies hurt. I mean seriously - Mal beats the crap out of me.

Poor JZ! I'm sorry you're having a nibbled-by-ducks day.

Raq, ND's niece went to a very Christian high school. The whole ceremony was terrifying.

ND's niece went to a very Christian high school. The whole ceremony was terrifying.

Did you fear smiting? I often get that feeling, when I walk into a church, like the congregation is going to turn around and point and start yowling at me.

Nobody ever mentioned how much babies hurt. I mean seriously - Mal beats the crap out of me.

No shit, Raq.

remembers two black eyes caused by darling daughter

Nobody ever mentioned how much babies hurt. I mean seriously - Mal beats the crap out of me.

The whole late infancy in-love-with-mama, must explore her every orifice and cling like a very loud limpet thing is painful, and exhausting. All she wants is to stand in my lap clutching fistfuls of my hair and chewing on my face. I can't believe I even managed to clean the bathroom; it feels like I've spent the last seven hours wrestling with a tiny, ardent and surprisingly strong lover. I can't imagine how single parents make it through this stage.

I still remember when I somehow ended up with my baby nephew, Jack on the runaway mine ride at Knott's Berry Farm. He grabbed onto my (favorite) shirt with his tiny fists and started sucking on the knot he had made. At the time I didn't understand why his mom wasn't happy to have him back at the end of the ride. I never did get that shirt back to its original shape.

Well. That was a day.