O, Dahlia.
There's really so much about your life that he doesn't know, isn't there? And he never asked you. He never wanted to know that you were hurt, that you were broken. He feels responsible, but he can't make himself find out just what he's responsible for. And you can't tell him, either. You can't tell him you need him to know. You have to just tell other people, and let him overhear. And still, he can't talk to you about it.
But your separation was more than just incarceration. You're a different person now. And you would have been faking it just to go back to your normal lives. And now you're faking it on top of faking it, and you do feel like you're losing yourself. And he is, too, but the difference is, he might want to. And he doesn't want to know he is, and he's taking you with him.
And you've made a friend. Really, honestly, a friend. Someone you can talk to, who will hug you and pat your head and tell you it's okay. But your self-preservation has lashed out at her, and you've hurt her now. You've damaged the relationship and you're going to have to do some building if you want it back.
You're going to have to tell her the truth.
And that's a risk, but baby, friendship is a risk. You just have to decide if it's one you're going to take. And, Dahlia? That's going to be one more thing that he just can't understand.