DAMN do I want a big shiny muscle car.

...You want to get 10 miles to the gallon? (Seriously! They have got to be gassing up twice a day !) You want a total lack of power steering, ABS brakes, fuel injection, auto door locks? And remember, mushy brakes on a heavy steel-framed car are much less fun than mushy brakes on a car made of tinfoil. I don't even want to know what's in an original AC unit from 1967. And the bugs. I know not all old cars are as un-aerodynamic as the Volkswagon Bus, but man -- let's just say that in my childhood I was scarred by the laws of air-flow physics at highway speed.

My research into muscle cars has revealed to me that what I want is a Geo Prizm that looks like a muscle car. Okay, a Geo Prizm with more than 4 cylinders in its engine.

t nerd

That tag never closes.

Ooh. There are kit cars to build onto a vw (or some other subcompact) frame. You can get them to look like antique Fords, MGs, Bentleys, all sorts of masqueradey things.

Buffistas could make a fortune and actually buy that island. We make kit cars (yes! and Kitt cars!) that bolt onto Prius frames and look like classic muscle cars. Okay, I know today's cars are unibody and no longer have frames. Still, give me a minute to enjoy the fantasy.

Ok, Nutty.... can I have one of these, then?

Ooh, or I like Bev's idea. Though a near-silent Impala would be kinda freaky.

You want to get 10 miles to the gallon? (Seriously! They have got to be gassing up twice a day !)

If they're lucky, and getting that 10, they're gassing up every 250 or so miles, thanks to the 25 gallon tank it probably has. Allowing for normal variations, probably every 220 or so.

Signed, WIP notes include: //Newkirk to Laverne, OK, 207 miles, Laverne to Springfield CO 208 miles//

No, I haven't spent hours mapping out small details on Google Maps that avoid any tollways but would probably cause reductions in fuel economy.

The 1969 Le Sabre we drove to California and back in in 1983 or so got 17 mpg averaged over the trip. Which is kind of impressive, considering.

Though a near-silent Impala would be kinda freaky.

That's what glass packs are for.

No, I haven't spent hours mapping out small details on Google Maps that avoid any tollways but would probably cause reductions in fuel economy.

You win. I thought I would totally trump you with my understanding of Bondo, but I always underestimate the computational nerdity of the Ple.

Ok, Nutty.... can I have one of these, then?

Don't think I don't troll eBay classic car listings. There was a '71 2-door Impala, in avocado green, that was just 10-15 miles away from me! matchy green insides and everything! ...And then the pall of reality fell upon me once more.

You win. I thought I would totally trump you with my understanding of Bondo, but I always underestimate the computational nerdity of the Ple.

The occasionally crippling computational nerdity.

I've considered using Bondo in the past.

Wound up just sanding, doing some basic scratch fills, and spraying paint on the damaged area.

True confessions time: I used to read Car and Driver, Kit Car, and some other random car magazine my Dad used to have. I had, and may still have at my parents' house, a folder with articles clipped out about my first car from when it was released. (In which, as I recall, Car and Driver describe the gas powered version as driving, "like a pocket muscle car.")

There was probably a point at which I was on the verge of becoming a car person.

Then the commute thing happened and I got over it. Which you'd think would've happened when I dated Muscle Car Boy. But no.

Don't think I don't troll eBay classic car listings.

Oh, yeah. Total car porn.

I found a '67 four-door Impala not long ago, $4,000 and change. There're lots of two-doors, but the four-doors are hard to find, and the only other ones I'd seen on ebay were already restored and tricked out and in the tens of thousands. This one was teal, with matching interior in surprisingly good shape, a little body rot around one door and fender. They said it would crank, and drive, but gave no indication of mileage or anything else.

Also, it was in Manitoba. But yeah. I had a nice long minute of fantasy there.

There're lots of two-doors, but the four-doors are hard to find, and the only other ones I'd seen on ebay were already restored and tricked out and in the tens of thousands.

My husband, aka The Enabler, was actually trolling car sites the other day and found a '66 Impala, two-door, totally restored, for $35K. But it had power windows and AC, which I maintained couldn't have been original. So very pretty, though.

Stephen had a '66 Oldsmobile Dynamic 88 when he was eighteen. It was roughly the size of a football field, and a convertible to boot. Sadly, by the time I met him it was a giant planter in his parents' driveway.

Last, for excellent car porn (with added gore!) see Tarantino's half of Grindhouse. So much fun. (Rodriguez's is better, in my opinion, but not so much with the car porn.)

Though a near-silent Impala would be kinda freaky.

Imagine an Impala sneaking up on you in a dark alley...

can I have one of these, then?

oooh, me too?

I love Beverly's idea.