And bless you for the work Gloomcookie.

I volunteered for the AVP (alternatives to violence program) at the local maximum security prison. That was the stuff of stories, I tell you what. And the experience showed me, in relatively short order how special someone needs to be to do that work and how I am not that special person.

The fellow I partnered with was so tender hearted about it that I saw him throwing up on the side of the highway one day after we finished. I could 'take it', but chose not to after a while.

Then I interned at an innercity middle school hoping to catch the kids before they ended up there. That too take a special person that is not I. So, with hand over my heart, I bow in gratitude in your general direction. Thank you for helping those I wish I was strong enough to help.

Each church in turn is a member of a Presbetary, which governs a selection of churches, and those in turn are members of a synod.

Yes, this is where it differs from a congregationally governed churches. The UCC has a yearly meeting called the general synod, but it does not govern any of the member congregations. It governs the denomination and the congregations are, by definition, free to thumb their noses at the denomination.

In a wholly congregationally governed church, there's no governing body outside the congregation itself. Every "body" that has a say in how the church runs is a committee internal to the church and those committee members are all elected by the congregation, and the congregation still has annual meetings off all members (and sometimes special congregational meetings) to vote not only on the committee members, but on the budget, raises for the staff, etc. The committees handle the day to day stuff (which Sunday School curriculum will we use; which charities are we donating to; building maintenance; how to spend what the church has budgeted; etc., etc., etc., etc.).

We also call our pastors and have to vote on their hiring.

Etiquette/sanity question: what's the most graceful way to avoid a hug?

I'm fine with hugging people I know and like -- hell, I'm practically a hugging ho with people who I like.

It's people who I don't know, people who I have just met, who announce, "I don't shake; I hug!" and then move in for the kill.

I can't come up with a graceful way to say "Yo, I don't KNOW you; any part of you that touches me is a part that you will NOT be getting back!"

And, to add another wrinkle, this aggressive hugging is within a group of people whom I see on a semi-regular basis (say, once a month).

Any ideas?

I didn't go. I'm going next week instead. Somewhere in there, my body decided to solve the problem for me by giving me a UTI.

Effing whee.

I'm really resisting making any comparisons to b.org and b'cracy here. (ETC: In response to the congregational stuff)

So I'll whine: Please make the realtor call/write me back! Pretty please?!?! I have got to get out of temp housing. I realize that as a renter I am not as lucrative as a buyer, but still. Want. House.

Steph, I have no advice. I tend to be a hugger, somewhat. I've never been rebuffed so have no solution that I experienced from a non-hugger.

I am unhelpful.

I'm really resisting making any comparisons to b.org and b'cracy here.

The UCC mucky muck who came to speak to our congregation said the Congregational Church government is pretty much the forerunner of the Democratic party. I see no reason to disbelieve him.

Most are, yep. I was raised Congregational Protestant and love my church like I cannot even tell you. It was incredibly difficult for me to admit that I didn't believe in the Jesus story and therefore couldn't be Christian anymore. I loved that community and everything they stood for. Stupid principles making me leave a church I loved because I didn't believe in its faith.

The congregation I grew up in (Presbyterian) invented a status where you are "Friend" of the church rather than a "Member" when a couple of kids got through confirmation class and said "I love you all but I just don't believe this". I found this to be deeply awesome. No one had to leave, no one had to lie. Kathleen (and then in subsequent kids in subsequent years) stood up and declared themselves a friend of the church while the rest of her friends were confirmed.

I tend to be a hugger, somewhat.

Well, like I said, I love hugging people who I actually know. It's just when Hairy Dude Who I Met For The First Time EVER 3 Hours Ago tells me, "We all hug here!" and then grabs me, I want to just go all limp and boneless and drop to the floor in a heap.

Oh no Aimee. I knew what you were going to say even before the whitefont...Stress! The cause and the effect. So sorry. Signed your sister in cystitis.

I've been drinking 4 oz of 100% cran in a half gallon of water each day and it is really been helping.

May the stress end soon.

My 'no hug' stance is a smile a stiff arm and a firm hand in the chest. "Thank you for your greeting."