End result is that M eventually detangled her mother from her financial affairs and it greatly improved their relationship. I know you're doing what's easiest for you right now, but maybe you can find someone you trust enough but doesn't have such an emotionally vested interest in handling your finances for you. That way your mom can learn to help you when you ask for it, rather than trying to anticipate it. She's creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by assuming you need help and rushing to do it when you're perfectly happy dealing with the consequences yourself.
Oh, Cash, that is exactly the story I needed to hear. Thank you.
God, of all the problems I thought I'd have with my parents, this wasn't one of them. Financial independence ahoy. Only two more months of struggle.
You are all amazing. Thank you for your words, stories, and support. They are invaluable to me.
go team askye!
SA, everyone already offered great suggestions, so all I can offer is my total support. Which you have.
askye, SO fun! I'm jealous. Keep sharing!
SA, ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I worked really hard to get my parents out of my finances and fix them on my own, and I'm terrified of getting them involved again--which I'm doing right now, as dad is co-signing the loan that pays my rent. BUT, we have a contract and stuff, and he's only on that account, not my bank account or anything, and all the mail comes to me, yada, yada, yada.
So, anyways, my point is, I get it, and I'm terrified of it, and I think that people have offered great advice. Just offering support. You know...the lurkers support you in e-mail or something.
ImememeN, what a busy day. Nice, but busy. And I should try to get a little more school work done before Gilmore Girls, but I'm just not sure it's gonna happen. I'm exhausted.
Poptarts:
Oh, how I wish I had a video camera!
I have a bunch of windows open in the apartment. Someone outside is BBQing. Toto is running between windows with his nose up in the air, sniffing into the air, trying to figure out where the smell is so he can get some BBQ. Every once in a while, he'll walk through each room sniffing, like he's making sure he's not missing checking somewhere. This is freaking hysterical.
I think for some people, it's difficult to develop the self-esteem to find true financial independence appealing. There is the tendancy to think, "hey, my parents are there if I really get into trouble and can bail me out" that is sort of comforting when you're setting out on your own.
I had to fight the feelings of resentment that came from knowing my parents were too overtaxed helping my sister with the husband and three kids, not to mention my brother, financially to ever be able to offer the same support to me if I was ever in a bind. But it made me sort things out for myself early on.
With my friend M, she honestly felt that it was an acceptable trade off ceding some of her independence for that sense of financial security. Until it became too intrusive and controlling.
Gravity waves may have caused our near hurricane-velocity winds last weekend here in Southern Minnesota and Iowa...
[link]
I worry that I'm never gonna know what financial independence is like beyond the "ooh, saved some Christmas money," level. This is not a pretty thought, especially as the parent with the money...doesn't play well with others.
It's quiet in here tonight.
I know! It's like everyone is watching Gilmore Girls from the hall with me.
