I'm one of those Americans who is not close with his family. Especially since my Mom died, I can easily go months without talking to my Dad or sister and I'd get angry and confrontational if they expressed opinions about how I should be living my life. And by angry and confrontational, I'd bluntly tell them to fuck off.

In fact, I moved across the country to get away from my family. And they weren't even particularly burdensome or crazy making. I don't have any huge outlying issues with them - we just don't have that much in common. We do all love and support each other and indeed both my Dad and my sister flew cross country for Matilda's baptism.

But it's a weird cultural divide in some ways. JZ's parents are convinced I dislike them because I don't want to see them every weekend. Whereas from my perspective I spend 10x more time seeing them than I do my own family, and that's Quite Enough. Shit I've seen JZ's brothers (who both live in other states) far more often than my own family.

OTOH, I fully expect Emmett to call me weekly when he's in college and I'll undoubtedly have opinions about his and Matilda's life choices.

Hec, you made me laugh. I'm not really close with my family either, for the same reasons you state (we are very different people with VERY different views - not to mention the fact that we live on opposite coasts). However, were I to have children, I could see becoming the annoying mom who always wants you to visit and calls you far too often.

However, were I to have children,

Not to put any pressure on you, but purely for aesthetic reasons I think you should have kids. Also, I think you and GF are a great couple.

You are very sweet. However, GF and I have discussed this in-depth and if we do decide we want kids, we will be adopting, so no genes will be passed on. It would be fun to have a mini me but, hey, that's what the niecey is for!

Well, I'm sure your kids would be stylish no matter what their genetic makeup.

Kinda on the fence on this issue...Mom and I are like butch, bloodthirsty, Gilmore Girls, and my brother eats dinner here at least a few times a week.Sometimes, is too much. But I'm totally a black sheep to everyone else...I've got cousins all over the country, but we don't talk.(Of course, my aunt the pastor's wife, is also a kleptomaniac who stole my candy dish in '04...maybe I'm not missing much.) Dad and stepmonster summon me and that's about the size of that, even though they have a kid and I had at least one friend give me a hard time about not being in his life. Right now, he's so young that his mother hating my guts pretty much decides that, but maybe as he gets older? It hasn't happened yet, though. So, I'd have to say your mom would be right, looking at us. But I also don't have to take everyone's opinion into quite so much account either. Honestly, though, I hate Phoenix and would love to be somewhere else. "I've lived here my whole life, and I'm like a disease..."

My immigrant in-laws cannot wave a Family is Important and Americans Just Don't Get That flag at me, considering that MiL's brothers all live on different continents (none of them North America, so she's all by herself over here) AND they are all suing each other. The paternal branch is similarly spread out, though more amiably out of touch than actively at odds.

My immediate family is pretty close, though spread over several states. We're all going to Glacier for a week this summer. My extended family, nsm. But I'm pretty bad at maintaining contact with my friends, too, so it's kind of a relief not to have the expectation of keeping up with a bunch of relatives.

When I got out of college I moved to DC to get away from my family ... and a few years later, my father died and my mother and sister moved to Maryland. They've now moved away, but not quite far enough. I'm expected to rent a car and drive up there for Christmas, they occasionally come down here for a day. I STILL get lectures on how to live my life. (I'll be 55 on my next birthday.)

Thinking about describing my relationship with my family makes my head hurt, and I do that every week in therapy anyway!

I have instigated Phase I of the Nora Rest Plan and must implement it by getting off the internet and into bed.

Wow. Y'all were chatty today, and I wasn't at work very long.

but she she kind of jumped when she saw me sitting on my porch and the asking for a smoke seemed like a "Fuck. Got caught sneaking around. Must cover ass."

She may have been looking to poke around in the garages, or even more harmlessly, she may regularly go dig around for bottles in the recycling back there, and nobody's caught her yet. So even with a "FUCK. Got caught sneaking reaction," it may have been mostly harmless. Also homeless people sometimes just have that kind of reaction to anybody they encounter unexpectedly.

But it's a weird cultural divide in some ways. JZ's parents are convinced I dislike them because I don't want to see them every weekend. Whereas from my perspective I spend 10x more time seeing them than I do my own family, and that's Quite Enough. Shit I've seen JZ's brothers (who both live in other states) far more often than my own family.

OTOH, I fully expect Emmett to call me weekly when he's in college and I'll undoubtedly have opinions about his and Matilda's life choices.

This whole post made me laugh and laugh, David.

I'm actually pretty close to my family, love them dearly, have never particularly gotten any drama from them (though I may have given some in my time), and I still moved thousands of miles away from my mom and hundreds away from my dad (actually the move brought me colser to him, but whatever), and wasn't all that communicative with them until S came into my life. When we first got together, I thought she talked to her family way too much (sometimes once a day), and she was surprised at how little I called them (though I call much more often now).

And as close as she is with her family, she's also still glad to be thousands of miles away from them.