Actually, I guess I have done it before, Ginger, but it was just Stephen and I dealing with a friend who had moved in with us (she had been evicted and OD'd, and had nowhere to go when the hospital released her).

I guess it didn't occur to me that it was an intervention, since I thought of it more as setting ground rules for behavior while she lived with us (i.e. not smoking inside and setting the bed on fire, not smoking pot on the patio while my kids were home, etc.) It worked sort of the same way, though -- we told her, "Here's what you need to do for us to be comfortable with you staying with us. Here's what we're willing to do to help you get back on your feet. If you can't agree to it, you're going to have to leave." Unfortunately, she did leave.

I think part of it is having kind of a plan in place, and sticking to your word about how you'll help him, and what will happen if he doesn't seek help.

I haven't done it myself. Your friend is fortunate to have loving friends that are considering an intervention. Most stuff says consult a professional, but this site has some planning and steps. [link]

Interventions are hard. If you can get advice from a doctor, psychologist, social worker, that would help. You might try calling a treatment center, see if a counselor would be willing to talk to you about what to expect and what you can do. There are guidelines out there, and they reputedly help. I'm afraid my experience is more in the line of cleaning up aftermath than intervening, so I can only be of limited help.

Ginger, also, prepare yourself for it not to go well. I don't know how to tell you to do that, but...

You might try calling a treatment center, see if a counselor would be willing to talk to you about what to expect and what you can do.

This is so important, not because good, caring people can't come up with the words/steps on their own...but because there needs to be an end result. Just saying 'we love you and are afraid for you' is helpful to a degree, but 'we love you and here is where we are going to take you for help' has more power.

And, goodness knows, 'go get help' is the best-least useful advice on the planet! If you can offer a where and how, the subject of the intervention is much more likely to take that next step.

Bless you and your friends Ginger. Going through what leads to this decision is never fun...and having the courage to care that much is commendable.

Oh, we're prepared for it to go badly. We just think it would be hard to live with ourselves if we didn't try. We're planning to rope his sisters and brothers in on this too.

ugh, Ginger, I'm so sorry that you all have to deal with this but lucky for your friend that he (still) has people in his life that want to help him. The only things I know about interventions come from the A&E show Intervention. And they echo what folks here have already said.

We just think it would be hard to live with ourselves if we didn't try.

Much better to live with the consequences of trying than with not.

Oh Ginger. I have no advice, but good for you for being brave enough to try to help a friend who is slowly destroying himself. May it go as well as possible.

I just paid off my student loan.