I'm not an officious bitch and it's hardly ever my clusterfuck!

This would make a good t-shirt....

you basically get to practice abusing a car that's not yours

Hmm. I wonder if they'd want me to be defensive driving stick. Been a long while.

I'm not an officious bitch and it's hardly ever my clusterfuck!

Hardly ever is good. But if someone "please advise"s me, then I get officious. Lay down the law, if that's the way they want to play it. Go to town!

I have to say this about this company--they may not pay a lot, but they sure do have great benefits.

And not just great in the tangible time-and-money sense; it sounds like they're really behind you.

Education is a big thing here, but they are pretty strict about making sure any classes you take apply to your job, except if you want to get a JD, then they'll pay for it regardless of where you work in the company (we're a legal publisher).

I am pretty sure peons are not allowed to lay down the law. Please advise.

Time for steely resolve, shrift, with some recourse to job descriptions, documented standards, your boss, and whim.

Whim is good. I like whim.

oooh. I ask "please advise" pretty often. Now I feel bad.

Jedi denounce UK sabre ban plan

The UK's Jedi community today expressed concerns that government plans to ban Samurai swords could hinder their freedom to wield lightsabres in public.

The UK's Home Office today issued a consultation paper ahead of legislation intended to ban Samurai blades by the end of the year. In a bid to "protect the public", replica Samurai swords will become illegal to import, sell and hire in Britain.

Breaching the new rules could mean six months in prison, and a £5,000 fine. Anyone carrying such a weapon in public could faces up to four years in prison, the consultation paper suggests.

The paper notes that genuine Samurai swords would not attract the same penalties, and there are also exemptions for other specific martial arts weapons. "We recognise it is the cheap, easily available Samurai swords which are being used in crime and not the genuine, more expensive samurai swords which are of interest to collectors and martial art enthusiasts," Home Office Minister Vernon Coaker. "As such as we are putting forward exemptions for these groups."

The key word here is 'replica'. No one has yet built a working lightsabre, leaving the UK's would-be Obi-Wans inevitably having to wield plastic, flick-of-the-wrist-to-extend weapons in duels with Sith Lords, remotes and, occasionally, each other.

But Jedi fear that the Samurai ban would leave them exposed to future legislation against other forms of imitation weaponry that would, Jedi Temple (Neasden) spokesman Indi-Anna Jones warned today.

"The Samurai sword ban is only the first step toward compulsory lightsabre confiscations," he said. "Everyone knows George Lucas based his series on the Japanese film The Seven Samurai - the Jedi will be next."

I'm having a little trouble with the idea that Allyson's *desk* is supposed to protect her, not the building. Next they'll be saying that she has to be able to get under her desk in the event of nuclear war.

I used to be able to do a bootlegger's turn. I wonder if I still can. I'm not as near deserted country roads as I once was.

Um, do those Jedi realize that replica Samurai swords are still sharp?

People are nuts.