Classic: my voicemail at work is suddenly not recognizing my access code, so I have a message I can't get at. I'm pretty sure the voicemail is from my coworker who's coming in from out of town. But I apparently only have her cellphone number in my cellphone, and my cellphone is apparently sitting in my living room at the moment. Awesome.

That sucks.

I apparently didn't turn my alarm on last night. Whoops. Luckily, the cat's shot was only 15 minutes late.

Jesse, can you get at your phonemail records from online? Generally the monthly summary of all calls shows what numbers were called and for how long.

The festival is regularly marred by casualties caused by sharp kite strings or celebratory gunshots fired into the air.

QI talked about this! They referred to it as "a sport that's so dangerous it's banned every day of the year but one."

I don't know what you mean. What's not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooood.

It tastes like feet!

On Ellen Degeneres's show today, she's showing her tambourine injury! I'm starting to think that tambourines should come with more warnings.

Bwah! I totally squee'd when she was tossed the tambourine on Sunday.

She had to ice it during the Oscars!

I watched yesterday's Ellen last night, too. That was fun, and awww, so sweet. I need to Tivo her more often.

I was in bed at what was, for me, a reasonable time (midnight). The cat decided that it was time for me to pet her, however, so she paced around the bed trying to get comfortable and then finally gave up when she couldn't. So, I finally fell asleep before 1:00. Again, a decent time for me. However, the cat then decided that she needed to yowl at me starting at 3:15, then again at 5:00. She proceeded to hide under the bed when I yelled at her, but by then I couldn't get back to sleep. Oh, well, at least I was able to get my laundry all done and still get into work an hour early!

Cool thing happened yesterday afternoon here at work--I was in the bathroom washing my hands, and a friend/co-worker was doing the same at the next sink. When I bent over to get the paper towel, I could tell she was giving me a once-over, like she was trying to figure out what was different. That's when I told her about the weight loss and exercise (she knew I've been dieting). She said, "I thought so! You can really start to tell!!" and gave me a big hug. Made me feel really good, so much so that when I went to Target to pick up some things later that afternoon, I completely blew past the Easter candy aisle and skipped past all the food displays.

Cop computers yell "D'oh!" when they spot uninsured drivers

Some Thames Valley, UK cops claim it helps reaction times to have their onboard computer yell out Homer's "D'oh!" when it picks up on uninsured drivers, Jack Nicholson's "Here's Johnny" from The Shining when a stolen car zips by, and Dan Aykroyd's "People like this are a menace to decent society" for crime-linked cars. No word if this newfound reaction time is negated by an ensuing Simpsons-laced quote fest, punctuated with SNL reminiscence.

juliana is safe , right?

[link]

Jesse, can you get at your phonemail records from online?

Hahahaha. Uh, no. But the office manager did finally get in, and he had some secret code, so all is well. The message wasn't who I thought it was from, anyway.