And they'll be all, "Your invisible friends told you to say what, now?"

I'll take the fault

There is only one way to survive angry customers emotionally: you have to realize that they’re not angry at you; they’re angry at your business, and you just happen to be a convenient representative of that business.

And sometimes? They're just assholes.

I just ran out of internet. How vexing.

Turn your computer upside down over a sink and shake it. That should drain off some Internet and let you have some more.

There is only one way to survive angry customers emotionally: you have to realize that they’re not angry at you; they’re angry at your business, and you just happen to be a convenient representative of that business.

And sometimes? They're just assholes.

That was actually one of the points I didn't much agree with. "Pretend you're a puppet and let it slide by..." Okay, Joel, let's see how well you do when the customer indulges in profanity and ad hominem attacks. "Sir, I understand you're upset, but please stop calling my puppet's mother a cocksucking leprous whore."

you have to realize that they’re not angry at you; they’re angry at your business, and you just happen to be a convenient representative of that business.

I do that a lot. Explain to support that I'm not mad at them, but I'm mad that I had to call. When I am specifically mad at them, though, I try and make that clear. And get their name.

My favourite is my mother, though, who led off a support call with "Yes, hello, I'm a very angry person, just to give you some background." She's very cute. I do love her. I don't know how the rest of the call went, but I guess it's a little better if the person calling's at least self aware about the whole thing.

Wordsworth had no sense of smell.

"Yes, hello, I'm a very angry person, just to give you some background."

Heh. That's cool.

Wordsworth had no sense of smell.

Also, Smellington was a mute.

That was actually one of the points I didn't much agree with. "Pretend you're a puppet and let it slide by..." Okay, Joel, let's see how well you do when the customer indulges in profanity and ad hominem attacks.

That, but then there's that first lady from your link. She didn't want to fly Southwest. She wanted to fly Delta at Southwest's prices. Ain't gonna happen, and everytime she gets on a Southwest plane, and it's not Delta, she's going to be pissed.

That's being an asshole.

We have clients who get pissed and think they're getting poor service when they're late for their appointment and have to reschedule. They think they should be seen anyway and screw scheduling and other clients. That is also being an asshole.

I haven't had the kind of nasty customers I had with Microsoft, but it's amazing how hearing "I'm allowed to hang up on you if you keep talking like that" calms some folks right down.