"Clovis, where did those come from?

My Devilbunny, standing in front of what appears to be an army of chocolate bunnies, wiggles his nose.

"mine! very own minion army!"

"Yes, but where did they come from ?"

"satisfied customer."

"You did not sell something to someone. You didn't. You know you're not allowed to run the cash register ..."

"didn't touch silly cash register. buttons too small for fuzzy bunny paws."

"So I don't even have a record of whatever it is you sold, and I'm using that word ironically, to someone for an army of chocolate bunnies. I am never, ever leaving you alone in the front of the store when I'm meeting with a supplier. Never."

"customer wanted sparkly snowglobe thingie on back shelf. minion army very good payment for silly sparkly snowglobe thingie."

I look at the shelf Clovis is talking about. He couldn't have ... oh sweet zombie Jesus, he did.

"Clovis, that silly sparkly snowglobe was a very powerful magical ... widgit. Not only should you have checked with me before you sold it, but unless you're sure your chocolate minion army won't melt in the sun, you also did not get a good deal."

Clovis looks sulky. I pick him up and look at his paws.

"I hate to break it to you, bunny, but you have minion-smudges on your paws."

"no bath no bath no bath!"

"Yes, Clovis, bath. I can understand wanting minions you can bite the heads off of, but you really need to get the non-melty kind."

I set Clovis back down, trap all the chocolate bunnies in a spare hatbox, then turn the sign on the front door to Closed.

"Okay, the minions are going in the freezer, which should keep them docile. And while you're having a bath, you can tell me everything you remember about this 'satisfied customer' that bought the frozen orb of Azagoth."

"stooopid melty minions. get sparkly snowglobe back because minions defective. wouldn't have sold sparkly snow globe for defective bath-causing minions. no baths for evil overlords! not right."

Sighing, I wonder how I'm going to explain this to Pete when he gets home. More worrying, I wonder why anyone would want the frozen orb of Azagoth. But not too worrying, because I know the one Clovis sold had a small fracture on the base, which means any major spells tried with it will only have very localized effects. But still, I'm never leaving the Devilbunny alone in the shop again. You think I would have learned after the Insta-Golems ...

Minion-smudges!

No baths for evil overlords!

whee

Deimos and I stomp the snow off our boots as we come back through the big cherry-wood door that leads to Thymeria. Deimos closes the doors and we take the stairs up to main floor of the 'House of Doors', a door store in The Old Quarter as well as the location of many dimensional portals.

"Things seems the same here, but we were in Thymeria for..."

My minion has such a limited mind. "Deimos, time does not work the same in every dimension. Here, only a few minutes have passed. The orb please."

Deimos carefully removes the orb from his heavy cloak. "Hey, it has a crack."

"Yes, it always has. It won't matter for this spell, the orb is only a conduit for the power of the ice dragon heart." I take the orb from my minion's hand. Now let it begin.

I hurl the orb to the ground, shattering it. The glittering snow expands and swirls into the sky. Moments later, a chill winds sweeps through the streets of the city and dark clouds rolling in from the north. As the freezing rain begins to fall, I turn to Deimos. "Hand me the globe."

"But you just..." Starts Deimos as he looks down and sees the globe whole again. "How did..." He begins to ask as he hands me the reformed globe.

"It is bound to the ice dragon heart, the ice will reform as long as the heart beats. Now let us go to a local tavern and trade this globe for some drinks, I have no need of it anymore."

What in the world? I thought the weather forecast said "Sunny and mild"? Darn it, my winter wardrobe is packed up, and I don't want to interrupt the very pleasant "My hero, let me tend your wounds" thing I've got going on with Bob. Especially nice since the hero thing is going both ways. Too bad about the wounds thing, too.

"Achmed!"

"Yes, sitt, I know. The weather forecast has changed to Mostly Cloudy with Evil Overlord."

"What, again?"

WBLD Weather Forecast

I've decided to switch to the Evil Wizard forecast model to predict the rest of the week. Expect temperatures to stay below zero for the rest of the week with more snow possible Monday. Be sure to turn in tomorrow morning for our list of school closings. Now to traffic with Dennis.

(In the town of Sang Sacre today, everyone seems to be whispering.) (Or, you know, not.)

I walk on by the Goblin Market. The proprietress seems to have shut up shop early today.

"Inga" I say into the intercom while I look out at window at the blizzard outside.

"What is it?"

"Is the weather contoller on right now?" I wait for a little bit while my assistant checks out things in the weather lab.

"No. It's off. What's up?"

"There's a blizzard outside. I thought for sure it must be the weather controller acting up again. You know how impossible the controller's software is to debug."

"No way. It's not even connected to the power supply right now."

"Get it connected. We've got some weather to fix."

"Okay, try it again." I yell to Inga over the noise of the weather controller.

"Here goes." Inga yells back after pressing a big red button.

"Readings look good here. How's radar?"

Inga checks another screen. "Doppler's picking up circulation. We'll have tornados soon."

"Snow?" I ask.

"No change, still coming down hard. Radar's showing more circulation, we'll have multiple tornados."

"Shut it down!" I yell.

Inga flips a few switches and the control falls silent. I just shake my head. "Damn. The software just isn't designed for dealing with this unnatural stuff. Who knew fixing the weather would be so hard?"

"oooh snow!"

I stare blankly out the front window of Goblins Market, then turn to my towel-swaddled Devilbunny.

"Don't you 'oooo snow!' at me. This is partly your fault."

"snow means hot chocolate and gingerbread minions for biting heads off of."

"No, this snow means you traded the frozen orb of Azagoth for defective melty minions. You are not getting rewarded with gingerbread minions for this."

"am cute bunny," Clovis replies in a sulky tone. "am cute bathed-against-free-will bunny, and deserving of gingerbread minions."

I shake my head, then pick him up and head back to my store room. I unlace the velvet curtains blocking the door, turn counter-clockwise three times and say "Dociousalliexpetitousfragicalirupus". The door glitters, then vanishes.

I walk into the room and set Clovis down on the marble-topped table, then start climbing one of the ladders attached to the shelves.

"looking for box of gingerbread minions?" he asks hopefully.

"No. I'm looking for a way to try and fix what you did."

Where is that box? I know I put it back here ... ah-ha!

I climb back down the ladder, a cardboard box labled Stuff to put on eBay floating down behind me.

"prezzie for cute bunny in box?"

Setting aside the ziplock bag labled rings of power, misc., I raise my eyebrows, mouth the word "NO", and go back to looking in the box.

"Bag of holding, magic daggers, clockwork nightingale, playing cards, a black spot ... yes!"

"yes means prezzie?"

"Yes means that we're going to take this NON-chipped frozen orb of Azagoth and go put it in a bowl of hot water with some mint and lavender. That should help take care of this current mess."

Frozen orb in one hand, Devilbunny in the other, I walk out of the storage room, the velvet curtains lacing themselves back up over the door behind me. It only takes a few minutes for the tea kettle to whistle, and then to pop the orb in a bowl with the herb-laced water. With the left-over hot water, I brew a pot of cinnamon-rose tea.

"not hot chocolate," says Clovis, looking at his teacup.

"No, it isn't. But if you're very, very good, maybe I'll let you wear your batty wings for a bit and fly around the store."

"not outside?"

"Not until the orb that's taking an herbal bath starts to have an effect."

Bob raises his head and stares at the window. "It's snowing. My god, have we been in bed all through spring, summer, and fall and now it's winter again?"

Befuddled vampires are cute. I pat his cheek gently. "Sure did, sweetie, wasn't it fun? Let's see if we can stay in bed till it's spring again."

"OK."