I steer Slacker!Knut over to what I like to call my Big Pile O' Starch - nachos, bugles, chips of every kind, samosas. . . nothing like comfort food to mellow people out.

He seems only to be happy to be left alone, so I store my new treats deep in the freezer, grab a drink for GoodKnut and reassure him about the pet, er, plant.

"It's really, really interesting, and I only hope I'll be able to make a good home for it. As for lavender - love it, can't get enough. Say, your plant wouldn't ever, ever make a meal of a cat or a gargoyle, would it?"

Knut looks shocked at the idea. "Never! The Mark VII has no appetite for random destruction. It is a loyal, single-minded being."

"Well, thank you. It sounds like just what I'll need. So nice of you to think about security." I put the Mark VII beside my lovely new rosebush. No mayhem ensues. Whew!

Knut spots his double and reluctantly goes over to greet him. Susan and DX are occupied. They're either playing two-person charades or they're telling war stories. This is going great. Everyone seems happy, and Holli is dancing with the penguin. That is so cute.

I make my way over to Connie and Bob. He is really most watchable, but completely taken. Oh, well. A thing of beauty is a joy forever, even if you can't bring it home.

"Connie, about the gargoyles, what does the care and feeding involve, exactly?"

As I explained to the penguin, if you eat one before bed, you have flying dreams. Unless you can fly, in which case you have car-driving dreams. He seemed interested.

(Adorable!)

(Cribbed from Eddie Izzard, aka, God)

Hi, Ms. Lizard! Care for a martini?

Shiny.

passing Ms. Liz a rainbow martini. It tastes like a regular martini, but it looks like an opal.

Ooh.

I notice Penny glancing at Bob's drink, which is, indeed, red. "He always brings his own, don't worry," I tell her quietly. "Nobody you know."

"Oh, good. Now, about the gargoyles."

"Easy as anything to take care of. They like to have someplace high to perch, but don't put it out on the roof until it gets a bit older. The only thing more pathetic than a gargoyle with the sniffles is a vampire with a head cold."

"I heard that," Bob mutters as he pretends to watch the rest of the crowd.

"Anyway, food. For the first few weeks, it'll be happy with whatever dust you might sweep up, especially any sand or tiny bits of rock that get tracked in from outside. If you forget to feed it, it might start nibbling at the dirt in the planters, but they tend not to like a lot of organic matter."

I debate leaving it there, but Bob gives me a nudge. "Tell her the rest."

"Yeah. Eventually you're going to want to put it up on the roof anyway, because ... well ... there are reasons there aren't a lot of pigeons around The Folly and why the guys up there are so big. Gargoyles love pigeons. And if they can't get pigeon, they start to look at, well ..."

Bob grinned at Penny. "It'll try to eat the cat. I saw one get in a tussle once with a bobcat-Siamese crossbreed, and you should have seen the gravel and the fur fly. Sparks everywhere from the claws on the stone."

"What happened?" Penny asks, big-eyed.

"Cat got away missing half an ear, and the gargoyle had a big ol' rip in its wing. Beautiful fight."

I clear my throat. "But you'll never need to buy a scarecrow, I can tell you that."

"Gee. Thanks."

"You said the gargoyle was a baby. If you get them early, so they form attachments to house pets? I mean, would it refrain from going after Raven if it grew up with her?

By mere chance Raven glides by at that moment. If cats could raise an eyebrow, she would.

"What do I give it if we run short of pigeons?"

Sheesh, I'm late for the Penny Party. I'm not even dressed yet. I dig under my bed and find my dragon shoes, and blow off the dust bunnies. Black jeans, white shirt, leather jacket. That'll do.

Let's see if that burn is done yet. Looks good. A mix of timebootlegged live recordings of Duke Ellington from various points in his career. Also, three times a year, on the birthdays of Duke, Billy Strayhorn and and Johnny Hodges, if you play the CD you're transported through time and space to one of his concerts, either at the Cotton Club in the 30s, or Cafe Society in the 40s or Newport in the 50s.

I hear the train coming, I'd better catch it...

I hadn't seen Susan for awhile, so it was good talking to her. She and her DH also own a pub over in Tangley Mews, and it gave us a chance to compare notes about the trade. Found out that they can still get liability insurance for their place, so it means my agent was fibbing when he said that it wasn't just my bar being singled out, but that none of the other bars in town could get it, either. I was able to give her the names of a couple of Maxwell's Demons looking for work as refrigeration specialists for a skating project she's working on. Good to see old friends. Even if they are competitors. At least they don't own one of those pervy hobbit bars.

I wander over by the entertainment center where Phred is sitting on a couch, watching TV. I give him a stern look. "You aren't mingling. You should be talking to people. Have fun."

"I was. The news just caught my eye. They announced the winner of the election."

"Oh. Who won?"

"The evil dead penguin."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope. The bird won."

"He's dead."

"But he had one heck of a platform. Anyway, they say that since he's dead, the election is null and void, and the Mayor's still in charge until the next election. Apparently somebody actually put that possibility in the city charter." He points the remote at the screen, turns the set off, and stands up, nearly hitting his head on a chandelier.

I look around the room. The bird is flapping away, dancing with Holli and Lizard at the same time. "The penguin's gonna sleep well tonight. He'll be pooped. Holli and Lizard sure are cute, aren't they?"

"Special hell, boss..."

I give him a nasty look. "Not what I meant, and you know it. They're too young. They're all too young." I grab a couple of hors d'oeuvres off a tray proffered by an InstaGolem(tm), then start needling Phred. "So InstaGolems are the latest thing, and Penny can't possibly have one yet. She invented them!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Read the thread once in awhile!"