They don't appear to be hearing me. Wait. I squint-- yes. They too gleam with a faint oily, flat light-residue. They're not fully in this relam. The mirror hall is a box suspended between and among realm, and denizens can interact without fully leaving consciousness of their own realm; but you can only see people flatter or equally flat as you. The moving-piece-of-light was sharp enough to cut through to my dimensions, but they're still formatted in the manner of the place they came from.

Which is to say, I need to lose a dimension. Okay-- I suck in my stomach and think thin thoughts. A second later, I've shifted.

It's alway a weird feeling, going 2-D.

A young woman slides out of space, like paper coming off a roll and then standing upright. She stands in front of us, blinking. Her foot is bleeding.

"Whoa. How'd you do that?" I ask.

There are several possible answers to that question. I give the simplest.

"I'm the superintendent to this building. I have the codes. Speaking of which, I need to secur-- fumigate it. Come on, let's get you out of here."

"Come on, let's get you out of here."

Out! Wonderful word. I'm for it.

Penny clears her throat. "Moving deeper in, huh? Don't know what might be next?"

Snark is so much less fun when it's coming from someone else. "I had concerns."

"Clovis would have known the way out."

I'm going to ignore all of them, except the superintendent, until we get back to our home dimension and I can kill them. Slowly. With pipe cleaners.

"There is one small concern," booms the Do-Gooder. "We have accidentally transported a Shard into your building, and we don't know how to slay it. Do you?"

Blast. I wasn't going to tell her about the shard. You find allies in the most unlikely places.

I shrug.

"Yeah. I noticed. It cut my foot. Once I'm done with you, I can go to its level of being, and fight it there." I look at them again. "To get you out of here, we've got to use a door. And to get to the door, I need to switch you to a different level. I've never done this to another person before, but you all seem to have originally belonged to the level we want to go to, so that should make it easier. First, I need to know how many distinct entities you compose, so I know how to try to bind you together. Do you follow me?"

Uh-oh. She wants to kill me.

"We are all one," says the Do-Gooder. "At least, we were. Now I am not certain. We may have diverged."

"May have? May have?" I'm hyperventilating. The mirrors are doing plastic rainbow things at the edges of my vision. I hold my breath.

"Thing is, see, we're all like, self-determined," says Wishy-Washy. "It's not like one of those Trek deals where I need them and they need me. It's more like, we each have discrete personalities, and re-integration might not be possible. You dig?"

"I don't want to be part of them," I say.

"But you are evil," says the Do-Gooder. "If I let you run amok, I will be responsible for the wrongs you do."

"Quite the conundrum," says Edward. "Are you familiar with Shun Kim's works on the divergence of magically created twins?"

"No," says Wishy-Washy. "But if it works for Crichton, it'll work for me."

"Maybe you could just tone them down a little?" Penny says. "I mean, this one's homicidal, and the good one . . ."

". . . talks--and apparently thinks--like a refugee from a bad fantasy novel," finishes the young woman. "I get that. It's possible. That's assuming I can get any of you back in one piece."

A sobering thought. My hands start shaking. I clasp them in front of me, annoyed. Evil shouldn't have anxiety attacks.

"I don't want you messing about in my head," I say. "Bring me back whole or I'll find my own way."

So nice to finally meet another Sang Sacrian, even under these circumstances. Actually, I kind of know Ms. Lizard by reputation - the journals, whispers in cafes - so this is like meeting an penpal, kind of. Best of all, she knows a way out!

Not all the Knuts are as optimistic as I. In fact, BlackPants!Knut looks like he might cut and run. I draw Ms. Lizard aside a little.

"Edward and I are whole beings, but these three Knuts were once one perfectly good Knut. They probably belong together, but they've been living independent existences. If they continue as three beings, the evil one will run for office or open a used car dealership or gods know what. That's not the worst of it. I'm afraid that the White Knight will kill himself in an effort to rescue a damsel or something. The Slacker seems harmless, but useless. His mellow could withstand nuclear attack. He'll probably end up haunting comic book stores for the rest of his existence."

Rebecca looks at the three Knuts. "The original Knut; what was he like?"

"Great guy, but with grey areas, as it was meant to be. I think so, anyway. I'd like to get him back."

BlackPants!Knut's hands are forming fists. Perhaps we should take action.

"I leave it to you. If you can integrate the guys, that would be great. If you can't, we'll just have to deal. All I can worry about right now is getting home."

(guys, I think I'll leave Edward to you more often. You write her better than I do.)

I hope those Knuts go back together. The seperate ones seem very ill-educated.

This Rebecca Lizard seems okay, though. I think Am talked about her once or twice. Perhaps she knows where Clovis is? As soon as Penny stops talking, I'll ask.

Hector is pulling urgently on my sleeve. "You need to find that bear..."

"Edward."

"And you need to find him..."

"Her."

"Now, before you're killed. Or forced to stand for election."

"Oh. Shall we, err, slip out the back door?"

"No- you go, I'll cover for you."

While Hector starts tap-dancing and singing something about evil gingerbread, I hurry out. I have to climb over a couple of fences and stake a Jell-O vampire (lucky I had that banana on me), but finally I'm in the street and away.

Where to go?

Wherever Clovis is, I guess, or to someone who knows thier way around. And, preferably, without being killed, eaten, tied up, catching the plague, cuddled by spiders, falling into the mirror world, getting caught by skelingtons, or meeting anyone dangerous.

Perhaps if I get though all of them in the next hour I'll be okay after that?