I decide to leave Am-Chau to her magic, and get more information through a traditional source. I grab Miracleman's newspaper from the hall table and check out the headlines. Random bombings? I read the first few paragraphs, and am struck by how familiar the targets are from my own internal rantings. Hell on a stick. According to the paper, the evil twin phenomenon is fairly widespread, but considered generally harmless. Some people are even shopping with their twins. Why did mine go on a bombing rampage? Maybe it's because I never had a sister. I am extremely irritated by the unfairness of it all.

Behind me, Am-Chau's chanting gives way to the horrid sound of gagging. I turn to hand her another towel, only to be confronted by yet another green monster. I shriek and throw a towel at its face. The thing grins evilly.

"You startled me, you son of a bitch! Never do that to anyone again, EVER!"

As I mentioned, my ability to curse is not something I was trained to do. Nor is it terribly reliable. Sometimes, however, it is very effective, especially when I don't think too much about it.

The zombie jumps back a bit, then hangs its digusting, oozing head. I fix the creature with a very stern look. It opens Miracleman's door, then shambles off like a rotting penitent.

I don't try to stop it because, ew! Am-Chau is less than impressed.

"Hey, it's a temporary solution."

"All right, devils damn you, ALL RIGHT!!"

Heh. All the curses, all the charms, incantations and enchantments...

None of 'em add up to a combination of headlock and atomic wedgie.

"You're going back where you came from," I hiss in my double's ear. "You're going back and you're gonna work your damnable mojo from the other side and you WILL call all the other evil twins back or by all the gods in all the multiverse I will climb in after you and see if I can't hang these boxer-briefs by your godsdamned EARS!"

"Okay. OKAY!!" he screams as I tug upwards a little bit more.

"And if you see that bastard Aeshma, tell him I still have ideas for him that will make his stay in a mountain resort seem much more pleasant. Got that?"

"YES!"

I frog-march him to the nearest mirror and shove him through. He turns and glowers at me.

"Now that you've released me..."

I grab the frame of the mirror and prepare to hoist myself through.

"Just KIDDING!! Fuck! Get a sense of HUMOR!!"

"Do it."

He mumbles and gesticulates in dead and bloodcurdling languages. His image starts to shift and fade...

Just before he's gone, he sticks his tongue out at me. I flip him the bird.

i stand very still. things shoot around the air. she speaks, and her words roll into the air lazily. things shoot around the air, the sound of cars and birds flapping wings, and bit by bit words are sticking to my skin. i use them. they crackle with satisfaction.

a rage.

I have enough stuff for one more bomb, so I decide to use it well. I can't think of a better target than the HQ of the paper that just referred to me as a "Mad Bomber".

I've got it down to less than 10 seconds now. Bottle, match sling. I watch the bottle arc in a glorious curve towards the bland, brick building. It glitters in the sun as it spins. I am overwhelmed with a feeling of calm and satisfaction at a job well done.

Also - a stabbing pain in my chest. What's happening? Oh, fu. . .

(Psst, elaris, if you're going to use the <i> tag to start every line, you need to use a </i> tag at the end of every line...)

Ah! Sorry, DX. The original post had just one t i at the beginning and one t /i at the end, but when I pressed the post button, it looked like only the first line was italicized. I figured there was some auto-closing going on, but I guess I was confused.

t disturbing in the middle of the story I don't have nearly enough of that English thing to become a citizen of Sang Sacre, but it doesn't damage in any way my enjoyment of reading and lurking. It's a great thread to catch up on, even for a non-participant. That is all. You may return to your regularly scheduled world. t /disturbing

Ack. Head rush. I feel a popping in my ears and a wave of dizziness. It lasts only a second, and I'm better. Much better. Stronger, snarkier, more complete. Ahhhh.

I turn to Miracleman who is about to moon his own mirror.

"Hey. Who in hell is Aeshma?"

(Hi, Nilly!)

These folks who are born with magic and never get any decent training really annoy me sometimes. Letting the Jell-O zombie go before I had a chance to interrogate it? That's practically unforgiveable.

However, what's done is done, and with luck I can catch it again. And Penny is onto one good thing: who is Aeshma?

I look at Miracleman, waiting for an answer. I feel lighter somehow, but I dismiss it as the effect of vomiting so hard.

Hah! I have escaped Am-Chau's pocket (don't you just hate people who store everything in thier pockets? I can see why Gollum hated Bilbo). I straighten my skirt, lift my chin, and slip behind the sofa. Soon, soon, someone will open the door and I will be able to start my mission.

I have to find my master, Clovis the Great Devil Bunny.