"I was looking to fight evil, but I'm not sure where to start. You interested in that kind of thing? Fighting evil, I mean."

"Well . . . it's a Yoda thing, I guess. You know, the 'wars don't make one great' thing. But sometimes it's necessary. In fact, there's something going on right now. I was going to ask DX about it, or at least if he knew how to get in touch with ita. You don't know where she is, do you?"

Penny shakes her head. "We were hunting the other day, but I haven't seen her since."

"Ah. Well, she works alone a lot, and she's more attuned to the Balance than any of us. Likely she's already at work."

A thought occurs to me. I'm still attuned to the earth and I ought to be able to check for . . . impurities, so to speak. I do a slow scan of the ground of Sang Sacre, the tunnels, the basements, the secret lairs -- a fierce blast of infernal energy stabs at me, and I feel wards strengthened to expel my consciousness.

"Yeowch!" That was painful. Zar pauses in her scratching and gives me a disapproving look. I'm still a little stunned that Mrs. Thorne could see her.

Penny raises her eyebrows again. They're getting a workout.

"I think I found the problem." I take the key Mrs. Thorne gave me and fit it to the lock. "But until we know what we're dealing with, there's no point charging in. We need more information." I swing the door open, and see glowing letters on the wall:

"What can Miracleman do for you today?"

"Huh," I say as the letters fade. "That might be a good place to start."

I feel the shadow buck and ripple underneath me. A wave of repulsion surges towards me, and I let it break around me as it searches for the intruder that activated it.

Nap time is over. I step into shadow and gesture to the wolf.

"Show me."

finddarktipbalanceshiftshiftshifttochaos

comefollowhelpmakedarker

Under my feet, the floor ripples. I intially suppose this is just one of hte usual side effects of Bob getting creative, but then I hear a crash from the kitchen and Achmed swearing some more.

"OK, now what is this? Achmed, you OK?"

"Yes, sitt. Someone's mucking with the great balance. The whole city must be feeling the ripples."

I crawl out of bed and stomp towards the closet. "All right, that's just enough of that." I dig through the clothes and pull out, not something to cover me, but a scabbarded great sword. Silver, forged by lightning, quenched in blood, etc. etc. "I was willing to be patient and let all the power struggles work their own ways out, but the balance is the balance, and it's supposed to stay, well, balanced!"

Bob snickers, and I spin and point the sword at him, aiming right at the bridge of his nose. "And no more snickering out of you, mister. This is your city too. And, dammit, I cannot deal with all these distractions right now! I've got a deadline to meet! Am I making myself clear!"

Bob's eyes are real big and trying to cross to keep track of the sword tip pointing at him. But there's also a very disturbing smile creeping out. "Yes'm, very clear, sorry if I did anything wrong. Do I need punished?"

I put the sword tip on the floor and lean on the quillons. I so did not need to know he had that kind of kink too. I may never get anything accomplished ever again.

The cats are acting odder than usual. The store cat won't leave my side, and she's usually quite standoffish. Boots has been chasing things I can't see all day, not just at 11 pm. This isn't a good sign. The last time the cats were this crazy was right before the big battle.

I've learned my lesson. I'm staying out of whatever's to come, unless I am attacked. It's become more and more difficult to live here for someone who is not Magically adept, or a Warrior, or connected to the otherwordly things in this town.

I'm just someone who loves books.(and I haven't found L-Space yet,alas) I wish luck upon the forces of Good, but I have nothing to offer here.

"Deimos!" I yell.

My lazy minion appears. "Yes, boss?"

"Do you have my supplies?"

"Yes."

"Good. Good. Bring them to me now." After a weekend of enjoying the city, it's time to get down to some evil. I pull out the vampire ribs I saved and start preparing an enchantment.

Deimos comes in with a good selection of blood, scales, eyes, and other basic supplies. A little bit of that, a little bit of this, and I'm ready. I toss the bones to the ground and they sprout into two skeletons complete with a couple of razor sharp bone swords. Not bad, but I fold in a bunch of wards to counter any spells used against them and a few other magical enhancements to speed them up a bit.

"What do you think of my army Deimos?"

"It's very nice army boss. I've never seen a better one." My spineless minion lies.

"Don't lie. It doesn't look like much does it. Bring in Pete."

Deimos leaves to find Pete. Moments Deimos returns with a massive, heavily muscled demon comes lumbering behind him.

"Grrrraugh?" asks Pete the demon.

"Destroy that skeleton." I point to one of my creations.

Pete swings his huge flail and shatters one of the skeletons. The fragments of bones sprout into a dozen new skeletons as they fall to the ground. I invoke the word that activates the skeletons and will them to attack Pete. It's not much of a fight as the Pete is far to slow to defend himself and is quickly diced.

"Now go and kill Miracleman and any who oppose you." I command. The skeletons hurry off to complete my order.

"Well, Deimos we have cast our first serious attack."

"What happened to the shadow demons boss?" Asks my minion.

I have to think about that one. "My spies reported that he returned the package via an enhancment, but I warded it against such a thing. So... I'm not actually sure where they ended up." I shrug. "It's not really our concern."

I browse scrolls from my collection of nifty evil spells. I find the one I'm looking for, a good fundamental spell to shift the balance way over to the dark. "Time to get to work Deimos." I look over the spell for any missing ingredients. "Looks like we need to bag another Unicorn, you know the drill."

I'm sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea in the KeepsItWarm Mug (™) and flipping pages in the poetry section of the Flatland Review, when I hear a rustling noise in the front room.

I press the button that'll keep it from burning a circle into my tabletop, set my mug down, and go to check.

The mail slot is still swinging. And there's a package on the floor! A little mussed, a little smudged, sender address almost totally obscured, but ooh! Someone's sent me a package. I pick it up and examine the return address. H-g----s ----ol? Something. Huh. Maybe it's my new automatic pancake-flipper from Hagmir's & Harold's.

"Well, thank god," I mutter as I take it into the kitchen. "I've been waiting for that to arrive for weeks."

We’re in the middle of the memorial service for the mambo troupe. The music is reaching its climax and we’re swirling and twirling when we hear it.

“Que diablos?”

We hear it again. Shaking, rattling, scraping. It sounds like bones breaking. We catch some flashes of light through the big plate glass window at the front of the studio.

“Puta la hueva! No respect for the dead.”

“Calmate, nino. Sears. That can’t be good. I guess we should go see what it’s all about.”

“No, no. We should go home. It’s really none of our...” He’s talking to my back.

We go to the second floor and sneak in past the Junior Miss section, through Petites and Lingerie. We creep up to the second floor railing and peer over. A big, ugly demon is being attacked by skeletons with swords. Every time he destroys one, dozens more spring up in its place. Soon the skeletons have the demon down. Hmm. I ‘ve never seen skeletons devour anything before. I wonder where the meat goes.

“That was cool.” I shush Raul. Men.

“Now go and kill Miracleman and any who oppose you.”

“Uh-oh. That’s not good. Let’s get out of here.”

Once we’re outside of Sears, I look around. There’s one hiding in the shadows. I gesture to it and it comes over to me reluctantly.

“Don’t look at me like that. I just want you to deliver a message for me. It won’t take long.” The little grey cat wrinkles its nose at me. He’ll do it. “It’s important. I need you to do it now. That’s now my time, not now your time.” A little more nose wrinkling. “Ok, fine. Come by the hotel later.” I scoop up the grey and whisper in its ear: multiplying skeletons, can’t be destroyed with conventional weapons, wards and spells. Once he’s got the message, I set him on the ground. “Go tell Miracleman.”

As he melts away, I turn to Raul. “We have to go by the mercado on the way home.”

“We just went yesterday.”

“I know, pero tenemos que comprar pescado, lots and lots of fish.”

Knut wants to go to Miracleman's to see what's up. It sounds like a good idea to me. His name has been coming up a lot lately, in all kinds of contexts.

I've stuffed my backpack with extra Instalgolem, plus lunch and a flask of whiskey, in case we need refreshment. Knut doesn't have any weapons yet. He says he probably won't need any. I suspect the words "nigh invulnerable" might apply to Knut.

We're about to head out the door when we hear Mrs. Thorne shouting from the porch.

"Messengers of Darkness, you have no power here. You can do no harm!"

Just beyond the yard there's a small group of heavily armed skeletons gnashing their teeth and making menacing gestures with their swords. Holy Mother of Dog. Knut and I stand by, ready to help, although I'm a little fuzzy on how we might do that.

Mrs. Thorne recites an incantation in a language I don't know. She shakes a bottle of vitamins at the bony monsters, sending a shower of sparks their way.

"Now get OFF OF MY LAWN!" She orders. The skeletons back off, but not far.

"Mrs. Thorne. . . " I begin.

"No time. Go to Miracleman." She hands us each a vitamin. "Take one now. It will give you 10 minutes of safety. Hurry!"

"Whatcha reading there Inga?" I ask as I observe that my assistant has her concenation trained on a pamplet rather than the control panel for the new quantum reactor.

"It's the literature that the cultists left off."

"Cultists?"

"Yeah, a couple guys in suits showed up. Turned out they were with the cult of Cthulhu. They left this literature and a couple of Cthulhu cookies." She waves the pamplet at me. I assume the cookies are long gone.

"Isn't Cthulhu sort of...you know...evil?"

"You'd think that, but this pamplet is really pretty compelling. I'm thinking of maybe going to the bake sale."

"Whatever, just make sure the reactor is running smooth."

I flip on a monitor and start looking over reports from the various electronic spying equipment in the city. Hmm... new Cthulhu temple, odd weather, animated skeletons. I start to suspect something is up, but nothing really posing a threat to the castle for now. Nonetheless, I press the key combination to activate my defense robot. Maybe I'll get a excuse to try it out and debug that new AI software.