Why I prefer Coffee Bean to Starbucks: Well, other than the totally tastier chai latte...Trying to buy a medicinal triple macchiato today, I was asked what size.

[repeating] "A triple macchiato."
[patiently, as to a slow child] "What size?"
[feeling hobbitlike]"They come in sizes?"
[brightly] "A double comes in this cup [points to a regular or whatever fake Italian they call it] or this [pointing to a large]."
[skeptically] "Whatever size it fits in..."

To which the man behind me snorts. She starts ringing up my order, and I notice something weird in what's flashing across the register display.

"Are you selling me a caramel macchiato?"
"That's not what you ordered?"
[still suspicious] "No...a triple macchiato..."
[condescendingly] "Oh, an espresso macchiato."

No, that's hardly emblematic of the brand. But damn if it doesn't taint the experience.

Reason Starbucks was almost worth it: Getting to observe the stages of child language and humour development.

Lycra-clad mother is chatting away on her cellphone, arms crossed tightly across her body. Her two year old is fiddling around. To be precise, she's sticking her nose in her mother's crotch repeatedly. Ever now and again she presses her palms together and slides them slowly into her crotch instead.

Mother's paying no mind. Cherub reaches up, bursting with excitement and taps her mother's forearm with chubby palms.

"I'm peeping in your pee-pee!" she announces brightly.

The mother looks down, frowning.

"Peeping in your peepee!" She's beside herself with excitement and pride.

Mother tries to swat her away without disturbing her phone call, but the girl's too excited to be dissuaded.

Not sure what happened next, because I had to duck behind something to laugh my ass off properly.

You're a good woman to have ducked, ita. I would have laughed openly.

That's hilarious.

It really is, even this early.

Hee. That was some serious restraint on the not pointing at her peepee and laughing.

Way to trash your reputation. No doubt rehab is next. [link]

An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

Oh, my! That is hysterical!

I'm only laughing because it wasn't me.

Which means it probably will be someday soon.

There's always preemptive rehab, Cash. Then you'll have a relapse excuse right handy!

That is hysterical. Why are you up so early, Lee?

I have two villanelles written and one more to go. YAY! I'm not doing well on them, but I've reach the point of just hoping they are done. If I can finish one more and read two books I'll be good to go on my trip. Grr.

You know what's nice? A burst water main in subfreezing temps on your route to work.

Negotiated it fine, but I didn't need that kind of excitement.

I have post-nasal drip. I may have to die.