It finally dawned on me - Chatty!Coworker is a text-based adventure game.

Heh. "OPEN DOOR." "HAVE A GOOD EVENING."

Although, if they lose to New Orleans, it'll be a lot worse than if they lose in the Super Bowl--one of the local sports news guys said that the whole season would be considered a failure if they lose this weekend.

Clearly, anyone who wants New Orleans to lose is evil and has no magic in their heart. IJS.

Wash the vitamins down with the scotch.

That'll have to be my plan for after work.

"Do you know what time it is?"
"Yes."
"Well?"
"Nothing happens."
"What the fuck?"
*beep!* "Your intelligence just went down."
"What time is it?"
"12:45:01 1879 GUE."
"That's a lot of numbers."
"Nothing happens."
"I..."
"You are carrying:
torch
matches
golden pot
some rocks
dagger"
"You're just fucking with me, aren't you."
*beep!* "Your intelligence just went down."
"This is crap."
"Nothing happens."
"I'm leaving."
"Nothing happens."
"Open door?"
"The door reveals a small white room with a table and two chairs."
"Turn light off."
"It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue."

This will, however, lead him to subsequently answer "No" to "Do you know what time it is?" requiring the follow-up question "Can you check?" which will then garner a response of "Yes."

Getting him to change his answer is your first victory. You're reprogramming him. "Can you check?" is not the correct second question, though. Either you say "Oh, never mind then." kinda sadly, or you...wait, no, I'd stick with "Oh, never mind then." until he changes his answer again.

Unless you're a cancer patient, at least a breast cancer patient. My mother's not dealing well with having to give up her vitamin C habit.

That should only be while she's in treatment. There is a current theory, which not all doctors subscribe to, that you should avoid antioxidants during chemo or radiation for any cancer, since you're actually *trying* to kill cells. I did cut out antioxidant supplements, because I'm a research fiend and there didn't seem to be much of a down side. My oncologist didn't care either way.

Also, sometimes you ask him what time it is, and when he replies predictably say "Okay! What is the time?" and if he checks a clock or anything say "I thought you said you knew what the time was."

I love this. Though my gut instinct is to go with "I'm sorry. I didn't realize no one had ever bothered to educate you about social niceties. Expressing a need for easily obtained information by implication rather than direct request allows the respondent to demonstate common courtesy by volunteering the information. Since you seem to have no awareness or understanding of common courtesy, I'll be sure to use only imperative commands in the future."

I think I'd go with "Okay, just wanted to make sure you knew." He's not going to efficiently give you the time, anyway, so you might as well conclude the exchange and ask someone else. Who might answer civilly, and then you could thank them civilly, and there you go.

shrift!

Jonathan Creek in a sidecar! Adorable.

They've been trying to clean up that part of the game, making it safer. But there's still a lot of head into the boards trash. The SO fears it won't stop until someone dies.

If Travis Roy's circumstances couldn't convince players to be careful about their and other players' heads, I don't think anything can.