Yesterday I went to the local Osco to use the ATM. A well-dressed man was standing outside saying, "Excuse me - I was wondering if you could help me?" I said that I was in a hurry (I was) and went about my ATM-ing. The guy was asking everyone who went in the store.

Later I wondered what he wanted. I'd be annoyed if it involved money, because the guy could obviously afford nice clothes. Then I thought that even non-poor people can run out of money (I know I have)... but it still bugged me.

I mean, maybe his car broke down and he needed a few bucks or something... but I've gotten stories like that before, and most of the time you just never know if they're true.

I am not sleepy-- I am hyper awake because I had TWO cups of espresso this morning. (part of my new years resolution to not pay for coffee)

I am getting annoyed with my boss for non-work related reasons, however-- she is obsessed with her weight. I understand, I really do, that she feels fat and that none of her clothes fit. But she is, at most a size 8 petite and she keeps talking about how she is morbidly obese (she is a nurse and must know that this is not true). She just told another woman who is on a diet that she could worry about it when she got to be her size. But here is the thing-- I am actually fat! And most of the time I don't really feel bad about myself. My New Years resolution is to eat and enjoy good food instead of crap-- not to lose weight. I mentioned this and she said "Well, it is clear from looking at me that I love good food" and grabbed her belly. But I am seriously about 10 sizes larger than this woman and I am about to lose it at her. Actually, it sort of worries me-- it just doesn't seem healthy to talk/think about your weight that much.

ANyway-- sorry to come in here with a New Year vent, but I seem to be wearing my cranky pants!

Is it appropriate to ask her how she defines morbidly obese? She seems a little off-kilter.

Is it appropriate to ask her how she defines morbidly obese?

Probably not. I may, the next time it comes up.

But they don't mind going to complete strangers' houses?

Well, you know, *those* sorts of people might be at the convenience store . . . poor people, or brown people, or, well, *those* people.

Sophia, ask her what her BMI is. I mean, there's all sorts of problems with defining "fat" by it, but as a back of an envelope calculation to show if a person is excessively overweight (or on track, or underweight) it can be a good yardstick.

The two reactions this morning:

My twin sister (who still lives in our small hometown): When I told her I sent the woman on her way, "Ooooooh" followed by wondering if the woman needed help. I then explained the recent spate of home invasions in another neighborhood here where some people were bound, naked and terrorized with guns while the people stole their jewelry, cameras, computers and cars.

DH: He was so tired last night he slept through the dogs barking but he said, "I want you to SWEAR to me that from now on you won't open the door to ANYONE we do not know. Ever."

I swore. That's the new house rule.

Jade(d) is the new black.

Cash, I agree with your DH. If there's a convenience store *in sight* down the block, there's no reason for anyone to bang on your door in the middle of the night.

It sucks to have to be cynical, but you hear too many stories about what can happen when someone was only trying to be kind. And with home invasions in a local neighborhood? No way should you open the door.

I agree with your DH too, Cash. When someone knocked on the wrong door (not the one anyone who knows us well would go to) in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, I wouldn't let TCG answer it. I found out the next day that it was my neighbor trying to tell me that my dome light was on in the car, but I would rather be safe than sorry.

Sophia, in my experience there is no reasoning with a much thinner person who weeps to a much fatter person about being fat. I've had that conversation eight bagillion times. I've tried everything but smacking. I've come to the conclusion that if someone is so self-absorbed as to be rendered BLIND there is just no point in trying.