For some reason I was thinking the author of that article was a woman as I was reading and I still found it patroniziong. My female GP is pretty patronizing to me so maybe that's a tone I expect from docs. She also dismissed the idea out of hand when I mentioned I was considering getting my tubes tied and I was 35 at the time. A gf of mine had to switch Docs to find one who would perform the surgery when she was in her twenties. I'll have to ask my guy friend with a vascectomy if he got a lecture beforehand.

Is it as hard for men to get vascetomies as it is for women to get a tubal ligation?

It used to be. My dad had to go to court and have not only his doctor but two character witnesses testify on his behalf in order to have a vasectomy in 1964. He always referred to it as the most humiliating afternoon of his life.

Let me ask this question: If the doctor who wrote the article was a woman - same exact everything - would it still come off that way?

yes.

children are people , not objects that need replacement.

Thinking about a possible future realtionship? should she have had children in the first place? what if new guy doesn't like her old kids? ( serious sarcasam )

the only reason no one in this house has gone through surgery is that noninvasive methods of birth control have worked

Let me ask this question: If the doctor who wrote the article was a woman - same exact everything - would it still come off that way?

I was plenty annoyed when my woman doctor gave me similar kinds of vague reasons against having an IUD.

I'm a fucking ADULT. It's my life. I am aware of the consequences. Things may change in the future, but seriously, how is that not an issue with every damn decision we make?

The paternalism thing didn't ping me... it's the God complex. Doctor, you may know medicine, and I appreciate your perspective and opinions. But goddamnit, you do not know me and my life better than I do.

Liese, you might want to call your insurance agent and ask about property liability insurance. Regardless of what you've got out there, someone could walk onto your property, break an ankle or whatever and sue you. I wouldn't think it would be that expensive--if you already have property insurance, you might be able to add this coverage on as a rider to your current policy. If you have any further questions, ping me at profile addy and I'll ask my DH (property/casualty actuary).

::considers how House would be as a gynecologist::

:: shudders ::

I should say that looking at more sources, the "regret" numbers do vary - understandably, with something so difficult to measure and that may mean different things to different people. And I don't think a doctor should necessarily be all "whoot! tubal ligation!!!eleventy!" But this doctor seems particularly reluctant to give his patient the credit of understanding her own situation and being able to make a decision.

And you know, lots of things carry the potential for regret. That doesn't make them bad decisions. It certainly doesn't make them anyone else's decision.

I am aware of the consequences.

I think that some patients are not aware of the consequences when they ask for procedures, or drugs they see advertised on TV, etc. We're a well informed group here, with access to resources and information. Doctors, I'm sure, see plenty of patients who haven't tried to get their hands on unbiased information, don't ask questions, or, frankly, are just not particularly intelligent.

Which isn't to say I didn't have the Hulk Smash reaction -- but I was thinking, "if I was this doc's patient...".

It certainly doesn't make them anyone else's decision.

Very true. I agree 100%. Probably more %. In the end though, he did the tubal ligation. He did what she wanted.

But c'mon - how many of us always made smart decisions in our early twenties? It's about women's reproduction, which touches a lot fo buttons, I know. I truly believe it was more her age than her gender that made him want to make sure she got it.

I'd be equally puzzled if a doctor asked if I was really sure that I wanted to have a kid, given the risks and the financial burden I'd be taking on if I went forward with birth, FWIW.