Dear Certain Friends Of Mine,
Thanks for asking -- or rather, telling -- me what I wanted to do for my birthday, and when. Apparently what we do for your birthdays is determined by what is most convenient for you, and what we do for my birthday is determined by what is most convenient for you. You're certainly consistent. Speaking of which, the past two years suggest that if I do something with you for my birthday, I will wind up even more annoyed with you both. And I don't want to be, so let's just skip the festivities this year.
Signed,
Bored With This Game
Dear Different Friend Of Mine,
Every year, a week or two before my birthday, you email or call and say, "Hey, want to go grab dinner or something for your birthday? Let me know." We eat, maybe we watch a DVD, and I have a good time. Thank you for reassuring me that I'm really not all that high-maintenance.
Signed,
I'm Buying You Something Extra-Nice For Xmas
Dear Anyone,
Do I want these shoes? I can't decide if they're cute or ugly. They're like pugs.
Signed,
Even Shopping Online Is Exhausting Right Now