Kristin, you probably want to whitefont part of your post.

The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)

Number 3 sounds like something I might have written in high school as a joke....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

...

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

...

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

...

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Gah, I tried that but I had a typo in it and didn't catch it the first time.

Okay, done with Japan and priests/friars. In animals, what links German and Wolf (the one on the border with automobile ).

Oh, those are funny, tommyrot.

Okey-dokey. It's bedtime for me. 'Night, all.

Lee, replace frank in frankenstein with what the box is connected to .

Thanks! Weren't you supposed to be asleep?

I cannot believe I haven't fallen under the thrall of The Puzzler. But it is nice for finding people awake in Natter.

Skipping lots to post a "Happy Thanksgiving!" to everybody who celebrates is, including wishes for a good minimal-stress maximal yummy-foods day.

Hmm, in fact, this is what I wish for everybody, regardless of any holidays. Maybe I need to start looking for more specific wishes. But yummy foods! How can I wish for any other kinds?

[Edit: in honor of the little that I do know about Thanksgiving, the digits in my post # had so much turkey to eat that they just sat on the screen to rest, their belts popping open, without bothering about what's the right order. I only wonder where the rest of the larger digits went (do you think the digits have separate tables for the big and small ones? And in the small ones they don't have spicy foods or have juice spilled around? And how come "1" isn't with the "small digits" table? Do you think that "0" got him a place with the biggies because together they make "10", event hough it's not a digit? And who did the cooking? And how did they count the dishes if the digits themselves are the guests? Now I've managed to get myself all curious. And the digits may even be UnAmerican!]

Now I'm wondering if turkeys are considered kosher. They're not native to the Holy Land, which means they won't be included in the original texts of what is and what is not. On the other hand, they're definitely related to chicken and other allowed birds. So I bet it comes down to how observant you chose to be.