Spike's Bitches 33: Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
That's the thing. That same evening, he called me FOUR times.
-I'm leaving the office.
-I'm going to the grocery store
-Should I go get a movie?
-I think I got a movie you've seen before.
Should I switch it?
(yes, was that answer and I was so grateful he'd thought to ask as I hated The Squid and the Whale.)
He has the habit of telling me the exact time that he left work on any given day. He calls to tell me he is 7 minutes away.
So, no, not normal behavior. In fact, in the last year, I think he's forgotten to call after saying he would exactly once.
All the more bewildering.
Thanks so much for the kind thoughts Nicole. I feel so adrift.
And -t too. Thanks. (forgive the dyslexic/tired mistype -t)
Happy Birthday, Miracleman! Much with the happies....
"They let me conquer the world. I feel much better."
Love this. I want someone to let me conquer the world now.
And hey, y'all. Guess what? I hooked up the router correctly! Go me.
You rock, Nicole!
Oh, Beej. What thoughtless and frustrating behavior. I am so sorry you went through that stress. I'e been there and it isn't fun.
Beej, do you love him? Is your life better with him as a romantic partner than it would be without?
Beej, do you love him? Is your life better with him as a romantic partner than it would be without?
The most important question of all.
I'm afraid the answer is no.
Not because there aren't loads of good things, that list is long.
But I have not learned to navigate the completely inconsistent behavior and, (ironically considering how I seem to only report the hard stuff here) inability on his part to maintain a baseline happiness.
I'm afraid that this bizarre 'forgetting' is a pendulum swing away from how great things have been for the last two weeks. Just. can't. be. happy. without stirring something up.
That's total speculation on my part, of course. I just can't explain it any other way.
What a terrible feeling, Beej. Hope it al works out, in whatever way, for the best.
What router do you have?
I think it's the same one. Or close. I think that the issue this time is actually different from all the other times I tried. New!Roomate has a router hooked up but because she runs a business has security things going on and my laptop just doesn't want to recognize it. So I get dribbles of some other wireless network and my internet goes in and out.
Hi sj!!!!
(((Beej))) I'm so sorry. This behavior is completely unacceptable. I'd be tempted not ever to see or talk to him again, not even to explain what he'd done. If he doesn't understand now, I doubt he ever does--not enough to attempt to change the behavior, anyway. I'm really sorry. And sorry too, that responsibility for the maintenance of the relationship seems to be falling all--or mainly--on you.
In other news, Yay Nicole! We hatesss those wiresess, we do!
I asked, because I have totally forgotten to call my mother when I've told her I would (and she's forgotten me), even though it is somethign we're usually terrific about remembering.
Sometimes, when we're leaving her cottage, she'll ask me to ring her when we get home, because we've pretty much got the five people she loves best in the world, in one car. I totally understand that, and am usually very good about it, to the point that if traffic is unusually heavy, I'll call and warn her that she'll hear from us much later than she expected.
There have been times I've forgotten, and we haven't gone right home, either. I'm just offering that up to you, because people do make mistakes. That might be the most consistent thing about people. But if you're already not happy, or still not comfortable relating with him, it's probably not going to matter how/why he forgot.
Beverly, your thoughts are my feelings.
I really just can't explain it one more time. I don't want to be angry and blaming, but jeez, I just can't think of what else to say.
He has said that he is sorry. (He called three times but I made myself out of the house all day) But, while I appreciated the apology, it made no difference at all. It just didn't matter. Which felt odd too.
Also?
LILTY!!!!! I was thinking about you over Christmas. I can't remember what brought you to mind, but I was specifically wondering if we'd ever see you here, ever again.
