Oh Beej, no need to apologize. I didn't take it that way at all. It's just a complex and weird situation. Thanks for the kind words.

sigh of relief

It sounds rough. But I'm guessing there are upsides too. Which makes the downsides so much more...down. Life would be so much easier if 'black and white' was actually that. Sometimes there is so much grey...

I'm trying to remember how old I was when I was allowed to just head out the back door with the dog and the entire world in front of me and my mother saying "Don't be long!" That was in rural Pennsylvania in the '60s, though, on our own land, so maybe that's the difference. Still, during middle school, everyone I know pretty much ran around loose with "Be back for dinner!" following them.

I'm also big on Don't Carry Anything Hot Heavy Or Sharp Over The Baby's Head.

Dude. Do people DO that? Is that before or after they let the baby play with the alligators and razor wire?

Don't Carry Anything Hot Heavy Or Sharp

When I was about 8, a neighbor jokingly said, 'here hold this' with a red hot soldering iron. 'Being the obedient kid, I took it. Lordy that was bad! Major burns...but since hands slough so much skin, I didn't come away with a permanent scar. I can't say that for the dude with the broken sense of humor. I'm pretty sure he had nightmares after that.

The only other injury I sustained on my own was climbing over a brick wall that had broken glass on the top. I remember very clearly (I think I was 6) believing with all my heart that I could press my hands on the glass but I would not be hurt. Illusion shattered.

I have no idea where that notion of invulnerability came from. I blame Dark Shadows.

Do people DO that? Is that before or after they let the baby play with the alligators and razor wire?

When I was about 8, a neighbor jokingly said, 'here hold this' with a red hot soldering iron.

See the stupidity?

When I was growing up, a father took his 8 y.o. kid to the Serpentarium and set his boy up on the edge of the crocodile pit. Yeah, worst cast scenario happened.

Huh. Kristin, I'm on the other side of that. Granted, our situations were totally different, but now that I'm not responding at all, he's apparently asked friends to pass on well-wishes (which have either been met with silence or furious emails, depending on said friends). The hurt is just so great (and now that I'm dealing with another new!fun!hurt) that I just can't.

Which isn't meant to make you feel worse. It sucks on all ends. It really does.

Still, during middle school, everyone I know pretty much ran around loose with "Be back for dinner!" following them

We had to come home when the streetlights came on.

Huh. Kristin, I'm on the other side of that. Granted, our situations were totally different, but now that I'm not responding at all, he's apparently asked friends to pass on well-wishes (which have either been met with silence or furious emails, depending on said friends). The hurt is just so great (and now that I'm dealing with another new!fun!hurt) that I just can't.

I get this. But...it is a very different situation, and I hope I didn't treat D. the way Z. treated you.

We had to come home when the streetlights came on.

Us, too. Or in the summer, for "dinnertime," which was a little hard to judge. Different time, I guess -- although I remember all the moms were a bit freaked during the Son of Sam summer. (We were 25 miles away in Jersey, but whatever.)

And when we were kids, we went to a neighborhood school, so we walked. And we walked home for lunch, too, and then back. No one's mom accompanied them after kindergarten or first grade, especially if there were older siblings.

Also, as kids get older -- eight, nine, ten -- depending on your neighborhood you want them to develop some sort of self-protective instincts, as well as some independence.

But...it is a very different situation, and I hope I didn't treat D. the way Z. treated you.

That what I was trying to say - I never thought you did.

I just found out about the whole thing, so.

Maybe I shouldn't have posted. Sorry.