I read somewhere that leashes are much safer than just holding a child's hand and that holding onto to the hand of a child can actually dislocate the child's shoulder.

Isn't that the thing called Nursery Elbow or somesuch? You could easily dislocate a kid's shoulder with a hard yank.

ION, Amish Market now carries Fat Witch brownies. Score!

(I realize the above sentence probably makes no sense unless you live/work within a few blocks of my office, but trust me when I say that it is Very Good News.)

I took the car out of park when I was about 2, causing my mother to have to sprint and throw herself into a moving car on a steep hill.

We ask Em if she's alright and then say, "Wow. I'll bet that scared you, huh?" and then follow it up with, "You shouldn't do that anymore without mommy or daddy. Let's go play with [insert toy]."

holding onto to the hand of a child can actually dislocate the child's shoulder.

Oh. my. stars. Halloween night, a family came by after I'd folded up my candy dispensing tent, so I was inside. The father apparently wanted to take a picture of the kid in front of my pumpkins. I happened to walk out the front door, which must have startled him...like I'd be angry or something nonsensical. Anyway, he leans over my waist (for me) high fence, grabs the kid who must have weighed 35-40 lbs and hoists her back over the fence by her forearm.

Dude! No need for dismemberment. I felt terrible for the child. If I'd been a python about to swallow her, maybe the grab and yan, would have been appropriate but sheesh.

I'm not a parent, obviously, but I've found that "oops" seems to go a long way. You've acknowledged that they fell, but you're not making a big deal of it.

The other side posits that reacting as if it were no big deal meant the child would ultimately learn to take things in stride.

What Hec and Jessica said. I'm like Hec -- I acknowledge that they fell (or whatever) with a hug and a kiss, but then I immediately downplay it. "Oh, that'll feel better in just a second. You're okay! I'm so glad."

Rather than dirt, though, my magic trick is, "Let's run some cold water on it." No idea why.

My dad's oft-repeated phrase was "You know how to make that stop hurting? Don't do it anymore."

[insert toy]

...but not into that outlet.

The woman I used to babysit for made her kids apologize to whatever they bumped against.

"Sorry table!"

"Sorry floor!"

"Sorry couch!"

So. funny.