Sadly, it will probbably take 3 or 4 times before it sinks in. and there may be other times when you look at him and say "you know we don't do things that way" I think that is the line to practice. blech. Happily , Matt's family has left me out of things. I wouldn't mind being closer, but I never fell into any plans and schemes. I think there were some attempts , but I never responded properly. Of course, I expect people to believe me when I say no, so I tend to get confused by them asking or suggesting the same thing again.

Also, {{{{JZ & Hec}}}} Family is stressful, and I'm sorry about the paternal asshattery. If I can help in any way, please let me know.

JZ, did you recapture what you were going to say in the email? If not, I'd go short, sweet, and hard to beat, like:

Dad,

I'm sorry our plans for Matilda's baptism aren't making you happy. We understand your concerns, but we've talked a lot about it, and this is what we need to do.

We do hope you'll be there. Grandfathers are an important part of a girl's life (then say something sweet about your own grandfather).

Love,
Jacqueline

Turning a religious event into a circus seems disrespectful to me. And this is comming from someone that is not religious.

Turning a religious event into a circus seems disrespectful to me.

That service wasn't disrespectful. It was just the little kids off in an another room during the sit-down. They just had enough pull to have the priest come out and do the baptism at their house.

Anyway. It's not about the baptism. It's only about keeping up with the cousins.

Why must it all be such a huge pain in the ass? You go to church, you spritz the baby, their immortal soul is saved and you have some donuts. Bip bap bing - done.

Sorry my definition of circus is anything that takes away from the point of day. baptism is the dedication of a child to god- it isn't about the party afterward. changeing the focus so it all about granddad says circus to me. my new england puritanical roots are showing

Why must it all be such a huge pain in the ass? You go to church, you spritz the baby, their immortal soul is saved and you have some donuts. Bip bap bing - done

sounds perfect to me.

sounds perfet to me.

Mmmm, donuts and salvation. Throw in some coffee and you're set.

I went to my BiL's baptism. It was an informal, open house reception afterwards. My FiL offered the pastor a scotch & water and he replied, "I'd hate to waste good scotch on water--better give it to me straight."

It's why my non-religious self felt entirely comfortable with this guy marrying us. He's retired now, dear fellow.

My in-laws stopped going to church when DH's grandfather died, so I suspect he was the driving force behind their observances.

Mmmm, donuts and salvation.

Or, in the case of Homer Simpsons, donuts and damnation.

Um, I think Theo sums up the parentals issue best over Natter right here: Theodosia "Natter 48 Contiguous States of Denial" Jan 2, 2007 12:47:26 pm PST

She smart. And stuff.

Mmmm, donuts and salvation.

Or, in the case of Homer Simpsons, donuts and damnation.

Huh. I thought it was donuts and salivation.