And female circumsicion is such a divisive topic.

I found out way after the fact that my MiL had given Ben an "emergency" RC baptism, by herself, at home, when we hadn't had him baptized yet. I didn't know whether to feel sad or touched or incredibly angry.

Bingo, Betsy. We want something small and private -- aside from the fact that his entire side of the family isn't Catholic anyhow, there's the fact of David's dad, who is sweet, loving, big-hearted, and very ill, making what will probably be his last long journey in this life to be present at the baptism (he won't even see it, since he has gone blind in the two years since our wedding).

All I want out of the baptism weekend (aside from, you know, the actual baptism) is a safe, loving, relatively quiet space for David's dad to spend time cuddling his grandchildren, having to share them with as few people as possible, getting his fill of his youngest grandbaby and spending time with David and Emmett without a big social whirl and bustle.

My dad was all bent out of shape initially because, when Little League tryouts were rescheduled to that Sunday, we moved the baptism from Sunday to Saturday. This is a DISASTER for my dad because he's going to a Sheriffs Association function that night, and he's already spent a nonrefundable $400 on his ticket. Now that the baptism will be happening in the morning and not interfering with his social calendar, he's further bent out of shape that I don't want to invite his immediate family or to hold a big huge brunch for all of them afterwards (we're having David's folks and the godparents over for scrambled eggs and sweet rolls, which is what we can afford). He keeps insisting that even with his immediate family it'll still be small. Um, no. It'll be an additional 16 people, 19 if we include the three additional extended family members who are the only ones Hec and I feel really close to anyway. 30-35 people, NOT SMALL.

But he can't let it go. He, the grandparent who lives 20 minutes away and sees her regularly, can't concede anything to the grandparent who's traveling from halfway across the country, and he won't respect that David and Emmett and Matilda are *my* immediate family.

Why must I be this way? His family EXPECTS it. This is what Greek culture IS ALL ABOUT. They won't UNDERSTAND. He knows, just knows, that in years to come I'll look back on this and suffer TERRIBLE REGRET that I didn't do it differently.

In the above 5 sentences, there are approximately 60 layers of @@ that I can't even go into for fear of boring everyone here to death. But now I totally want to do a Family Obligations Guilt-Wielding Cage Match between him and P-C's mom.

But now I totally want to do a Family Obligations Guilt-Wielding Cage Match between him and P-C's mom.

Heh.

But now I totally want to do a Family Obligations Guilt-Wielding Cage Match between him and P-C's mom.

Heeeeeeeee. I love you. Also, did you ever recover from the Dana Gould thing and finish reading my post?

{{{JZ}}} Honey, want me to come by the baptism with a cluestick? Oh, wait. That'd be more people...hmmm...need a new/better plan.

Just got home from a big exam. I'm not worried about it at all. That's a nice feeling.

It'll be an additional 16 people, 19 if we include the three additional extended family members who are the only ones Hec and I feel really close to anyway. 30-35 people, NOT SMALL.

!!!!!!!!!

...

...

I got nuthin'. But my eyeballs just rolled right out of my head, so it's a bloody miracle I'm typing this with anything approaching accuracy.

ion - I didn't know your family was Greek, JZ! That's cool. Well, no, clearly it's Very Fucking Annoying, actually, what with the whole My Big Fat Greek Baptism rubbish. Er. But interesting, at any rate.

ioon, I have just dyed my hair for the first time in about 4 years. ie for the first time since I had the whole exciting 'Holy Fuck, my hair is falling out in clumps' fun and games. Said hair has never wholly returned to its former extreme hairbrush-snapping thickness, but is very much thicker than it was. (I lost between 50 and 60% of the density of my hair, at a guess. It's now maybe back to 70 or 80% of its original density.)

Nope, they never did find out why the fuck it was happening, beyond confirming that I had polycystic ovary syndrome.

Please God I haven't just pushed any kind of chemical shed-hair-now button by colouring it again.

gnaws inside of cheek.

ioon, man, I do love my family. Bless them. They rock. My sister and my mother are, hands down, my best friends.

Ok. I just have to share these pictures of Toto. A friend of mine made a blankie for him, and he LOVES it: [link]

Okay Jaqueline, here's what you do. You, Hec, Emmett, Matilda and Hec's dad meet your dad and whoever he decides to bring at the church for the ceremony. Then you and your nuclear family go home so Grampa Smay can have grandbaby time, and you and Hec can have Grampa time.

Your dad can take his coterie off to brunch in a place of his choice and celebrate his granddaughter's baptism the way it *ought* to be celebrated. He can take pictures, to show you guys later.

This way, one Grampa gets what he needs, and the other Grampa gets what he wants. Mostly.

I'm sorry, I know it's not this easily settled, but it should be. And you shouldn't have to be the adult in the equation, either. Masses of tact and determination to you, love.

And now I'm off to take Mom to the doctor. Wish me patience.

My whole apartment smells like cigarette smoke again from the apartment upstairs. There is probably nothing I can do about it short of buying an expensive air filter, right?