{{Connie's DH}} And um, sweet dreams, connie.

Oh, connie. I hope you and your DH feel better soon, him physically and you for hurting him.

I know that the following isn't really Christmas conversation, but I'm so conflicted about it, and really needed to get it off my chest. Feel free to skip and skim onto more cheerful conversation which I'm sure will follow!

I may have mentioned a while back that my aunt and uncle, who are really like my second set of parents, are getting divorced after 46 years. The divorce looks to be a nasty one, considering my aunt and cousins have all be granted restraining orders against my uncle. Well, my uncle had a broken leg at the time that everything happened. Now, he has just gotten out of the hospital after having his gall bladder removed. The thing that's so amazing to me is that my aunt didn't divorce my uncle 30 years ago, but I feel so sorry for him, all alone and in pain, especially for the holidays, so I got him a present and called him to wish him Merry Christmas.

It was so very weird. We had this whole conversation not mentioning anything that has been happening, as if everything were normal and I was just calling to chat. I'm glad I called, but I feel kind of guilty for calling him, even though I really don't think it would upset anyone involved. It's just, half the family feels so sorry for him and pretty much thinks he's wonderful, and the other half thinks he's horrible and is ready to just write him off. I'm kind of in between. He can do horrid, awful things, and I'm sure he did in this case, but he's still a person and has been in the family longer than I've been alive.

libkitty, you have to do what is right for you. I'm sure your uncle really appreciated the contact.

You acted lovingly. That's just not something to feel guilty about.

Oh, libkitty, that sounds wretched all the way around. So hard to be in the middle when the whole family is taking sides; whatever the truth is of what happened in their marriage, and however the divorce ends, it sounds like you did a kind and right thing. I'm sorry it's all so hard and fraught.

Sweet San Francisco Xmas story of the day: This evening we went out for our annual pilgrimage to the giant Christmas tree at the edge of Golden Gate Park (a big oak or some such, with lights strung around rather than through it, so it really looks rather like a gigantic bulbous ornament -- still, very pretty) so Emmett could run around it and sing carols, and now so Matilda could goggle at the lights.

On the way, we passed the homeless encampment at the entrance to the park at Haight & Stanyan streets, usually a sea of grubby teens and confused older men and assorted dogs, where tonight a church group had taken over, serenading the homeless folk with carols (sacred and secular -- as we approached, they were singing "Feliz Navidad"), setting up a barbecue to grill hot dogs and sausages for everyone, and putting up a tree and carrying in armloads of presents. No preaching, no handing out of pamphlets, just grilled meaty stuffs and songs and prezzies.

I do like our city, I do.

Very nice, JZ.

Once, our old priest told about working with homeless folk, I think in NYC. He was trying to help, with advice on some matter, and the fellow he was speaking with told him that he was tired that night and could he please just have the food. It kind of makes you stop and think. On the other hand, at the Glory Hole, the people coming for food will chew you out if you forget and start handing it out without a prayer first. Diff'rent strokes and all that, I guess.

But I still like your city too, JZ! Good folk.

JZ, that's the sort of thing that I love about the holidaze. Beauty really can happen, and the source can be very surprising. Very.

libkitty, I don't know you, so feel free to skip, but I wanted you to know that from the outside looking in, I think it was very thoughtful of you to contact your uncle. Is he your blood uncle, or is it his wife who is blood? Either way, I'm sure he appreciated it. And it's my firm belief that even if he didn't "deserve" the call (say, he did something truly horrible to his wife), extended kindness is a gift. You gave him a gift.

My aunt is my mother's sister. But as I say, he's been in the family longer than I have.

Right. We had the same thing happen only it was my uncle who was mother's brother. When they divorced, we "kept" my aunt.

When another aunt and uncle divorced, we kept both. My uncle's first wife even babysat for the second wife's kids upon rare occasions, and both attended family gatherings. But their divorce was amazingly amicable.