So I went to one of the strangest weddings I've ever been to today. It was, in fact, held at the Port of LA down in San Pedro amidst lovely steamer ships off-loading containers and Fire Dept. scows sailing past. The groom's father was wearing a forest green tux (with velvet lapels). The priest kept having to tell the happy couple to stand closer and look at each other as if they were in love. The bride's vows included a sincere hope to continue to deconstruct the issues of the day with her soon-to-be husband. They jumped the broom, a ritual which half the guests didn't understand (I guess they've never seen Roots), and that led to an impromptu lecture from the Bride's mother about the customs adopted by African Americans after our "involuntary immigration" from the Motherland. Two guys whom I swear were the singing dudes from There's Something About Mary sang "In My Life" and proceeded to forget 75% of the words. And then the bride and groom used Stevie Wonder's "Golden Lady" for their recessional. Then came the toasts, where the bride's father complained for three minutes about the fact that the wedding was taking place on his birthday and that he was being robbed of feeling special on his day. The groom's brother told stories about how he and the groom used to wait for his mom to bend over to turn the heater on so that they could measure her rear end with a tape measure and proclaim "That's a whopper!" The groom's mother told a story which ended with "And that's when [groom] smacked me! But I couldn't complain because I guess I deserved it." And one of the bridesmaids broke into song during her toast and exhorted the whole crowd to clap and sing along even though it was a song she had clearly just made up on the spot. And then the bride's grandfather led a group of nubile young women out onto the floor to groove to "Atomic Dog".
Good times.