Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second — the second — that happens, you know I'll be there. I'll slip in, have myself a real good day.

Spike ,'Conversations with Dead People'


Natter 47: My Brilliance Is Wasted On You People  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Cashmere - Oct 07, 2006 3:33:30 am PDT #2604 of 10001
Now tagless for your comfort.

I suppose there is a lot of biological sense to it. Younger people have more energy and are physically more suited to bearing children--can't say that hasn't crossed my mind a thousand times in the last two years.


Anne W. - Oct 07, 2006 3:46:42 am PDT #2605 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

Younger people have more energy and are physically more suited to bearing children

My best friend will be in her mid-fifties when her daughter is in high school. Her husband will be in his mid-sixties. That was something they thought long and hard about before deciding to go ahead and have a child.

I wonder if, in some cases, having known one's childhood sweetheart since pre-school can help with the longevity of a marriage since there was already a friendship there before the hormones started kicking in.


Theodosia - Oct 07, 2006 4:11:36 am PDT #2606 of 10001
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"

Older parents have more life experience and often more material prosperity than younger -- I'd like to think it evens out.

I just ahem'd My Name is Earl in 8 minutes, which is a freaky record for my connection. Alas, it was the wrong episode, and now I'm getting the correct episode with an ETA of about an hour... which is still fast, but not freaky-fast.


Topic!Cindy - Oct 07, 2006 5:28:32 am PDT #2607 of 10001
What is even happening?

CV, nice to see you here. All the best to your poor mom.

I suppose there is a lot of biological sense to it. Younger people have more energy and are physically more suited to bearing children--can't say that hasn't crossed my mind a thousand times in the last two years.

Oh, yeah. My best friend had her first child on her 19th birthday. Her youngest (she has three) is two years and change older than my oldest. She's almost done, while her younger sister and one of her brothers are just having their children (but not together, because ewww).

We went out for coffee on Thursday, and were talking about how ill-suited we (personally) would feel if we were facing new motherhood, now. Neither of us have either the patience or energy small children require, any more.

Honestly, I feel like I (me me me only -- not everyone, nor even most women) might have been a better mother, at least where some aspects of the role are concerned, if it had all come about 5 years earlier. I think I was a good deal older than the national average age at first birth, but I was not older in comparison to the other women in my social circle. I was weeks shy of 29 when Ben was born, 31+ when Julia was born, and turned 33 weeks before Chris was born.

If I keep going, I'm going to start questioning all the changes to family structure ushered in by the Industrial Revolution, so I'll shut up, because on the whole, I'm pretty darned happy we don't live with our extended family.

And I love my TiVo.


Sheryl - Oct 07, 2006 5:57:05 am PDT #2608 of 10001
Fandom means never having to say "But where would I wear that?"

Timelies all!

The whole "age of the mother" thing's been on my mind for a while, since I realize that I'll be at least 39 when/if I have a child. While I might have been in better physical shape for a child if I had one when I was in my 20s, I wasn't in emotional shape for one then. It wasn't until I met G that I thought seriously about having kids. (For a long time I was sure I'd never get married or have kids)


Theodosia - Oct 07, 2006 6:10:46 am PDT #2609 of 10001
'we all walk this earth feeling we are frauds. The trick is to be grateful and hope the caper doesn't end any time soon"

My mom was 39 when I was born, so I have some positive bias in favor of older moms, from my personal experience. Having a stable and mature outlook/relationship can be one of the most important elements!


Ouise - Oct 07, 2006 6:46:03 am PDT #2610 of 10001
Socks are a running theme throughout the series. They are used as symbols of freedom, redemption and love.

Agh! My cats just caught a mouse. I thought they were playing with one of their toys.

I took it outside in a container. I can't tell if it's in shock or actually injured. Uck.

I suppose this explains why they've been staring at the cupboard all week.


megan walker - Oct 07, 2006 7:26:10 am PDT #2611 of 10001
"What kind of magical sunshine and lollipop world do you live in? Because you need to be medicated."-SFist

My mom was 39 when I was born, so I have some positive bias in favor of older moms, from my personal experience. Having a stable and mature outlook/relationship can be one of the most important elements!

This.

For Hec and others wondering about being an older parent: Although I deeply regret my Dad no longer being here, I never regretted that he was already 45 when I was born. Ever.

I certainly don't think it made any difference in his physical capacity to take care of me, which is what many people fear—I mean, this is a man who made a skating rink in the backyard every winter and could sledgehammer a dock into the lake well into his 70s! He was very secure with himself and his work, and I think this gave him tremendous patience with me, patience that he might not have had if he had been younger. He had seen a lot of the world and people, and was able to give great advice because of it. I wish I had listened to all of it.

Plus, having a retired father those first few years out of college? Invaluable. He could help me move (a number of times) and shuttle stuff back and forth. He could take long trips to help me pursue my interest in landscape photography. He could take the time to visit me when I lived abroad. And, he was in financial position to provide back-up if and when I needed it.

As a childless person in my late thirties, I understand the concern, but please don't let the "too old" demons have the last word.


Volans - Oct 07, 2006 8:26:20 am PDT #2612 of 10001
move out and draw fire

While I might have been in better physical shape for a child if I had one when I was in my 20s, I wasn't in emotional shape for one then.

This exactly. For all the BS from the doctors about my "advanced maternal age" and for how unpleasant pregnancy was, being emotionally balanced and calm is way more important.

Which isn't to say all young parents are unbalanced, just I would've been.

And my DH's parents were in their teens, and not really interested in a relationship with each other, so while they tried to do the right thing that just meant a lot of domestic stress and then divorce. And neither of them was very safe or stable while he was growing up.


Allyson - Oct 07, 2006 8:51:45 am PDT #2613 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

I walked over to the doctor's office, and the receptionist called the owner who was out of town, took my information, checked out the damage, and gave me the owner's card so we could talk on Monday about how to solve the issue with my paint speckled car.

Am calmer. For now.

Many chores ahead of me for the day, so I'll take out my leftover frustrations on scrubbing and vaccuuming.