Oh no. Poor minister and poor beloved gathered who were appalled.
You just can't plan for life!
Dennis Miller did a speech at the Software Publisher's Association meeting in Montreal yonks ago. He joked about a particular award and was met by frosty silence.
Him: Hey, it's not like this is a memorial award.
Us: ...
Him: God! At least the guy didn't kill himself...
Us: ...
Him: Please tell me the guy's wife isn't here.
Her: ...
At that point, he looked like a balloon that had been harpooned. He slumped his shoulders, mumbled something about how nobody told him and wandered off the stage. I felt really bad for him. Of course, that was nearly 20 years ago...my feelings about him have changed.
I love cemeteries -- my family often goes for a walk in the fancy old one in Boston. When I was in the Bahamas, running away from the Tourist Attractions, I ran across an old colonial cemetery and it was really cool. The guy mowing the grass thought I was a little odd, though.
My grandmother had a viewing, which I thought was fairly horrific, but I wasn't close to her at all, so it wasn't personally upsetting.
My dad was cremated. We had a short service at the funeral home, played the Brandenburg Concertos, and I thought about punching the minister. But I didn't. My aunt & brother spoke, and probably someone else I've forgotten. After that I guess five of us went to the cemetary briefly, and then people came to our house to help eat the tons of food we'd accumulated.
If I could have skipped the whole thing, I would have. I understand the whole "it's for the survivors" thing in theory, but... for me, all of that was a series of hurdles I had to get over before I was finally allowed to be alone for a while, which was what I'd wanted the whole time.
I have to link to this article because it involves monkeys and pants...
Police: Men smuggled monkeys in pants; also leopard cubs, orchids, birds of paradise
The title makes it sound better than it really was.
Police: Men smuggled monkeys in pants; also leopard cubs, orchids, birds of paradise
But no hippos. Still and yet, hippo dignity is denied.
Weird. I was just reading about a probably-smuggled slow loris, except it was in Japan.
Interview-ma? I'm lining up interviews thanks to some judicious re-writing of my resume, and it would be nice if someone wanted to employ me.
t dusts off her Ann Taylor
Speechless: [link]
Yeah, he's rapidly backing away from that statement.
Still, WTF was he thinking?
