There's also a codicil to the rule. If you don't change the diaper, you don't get to criticize.
Well, you do, if you turn your criticism around and admit in a self-deprecating fashion that your own trumpted expertise amounted to nothing more than flurm.
UNSOLICITED DIAPERING ADVICE:
1. Get cloth diapers. Even if you're using disposables, get a pack of pre-folded cloth diapers. Put one between the baby and the changing table pad, because if you've got to wash that sucker after every flurm, you're not going to have it available for every flurm. It's like a paradox, but messier and more easily explained.
2. Open the wipies (and/or have the wet washcloth at the ready) before opending the soiled diaper.
3. If right handed, secure both of baby's ankles in left hand, wipe with right. If left handed, do the reverse.
4. After baby is clean, but before putting on the new diaper, lay a cloth diaper on part that pees, so as to avoid getting peed upon.
5. Slide clean diaper under baby, bring up the front of it (diaper, not baby), remove the cloth diaper, secure the diaper the baby will be wearing.
6. WASH YOUR HANDS! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST BEEN DOING?
EVERYONE should corset. It's fun!
Boys too?
Wait, the guy from Rocky Horror wore a corset, right?
...but gay, right?
Nope. (And M, if you are such a Buffy fan that you are reading this, come talk to me and let me tell you how absolutely foamy Fay is!) I think his tour is up next summer; I'll tell him to bid on Bangkok.
If right handed, secure both of baby's ankles in left hand, wipe with right. If left handed, do the reverse.
(cue laughter tinged with hysteria here) This worked fine until he could crawl. Then all diaper changes happened with Mal on his belly playing in the sink...which actually was fine as I could get him cleaner. Once he could stand, he stood and stared into the mirror at the total hottie who was staring back. Also not really a problem.
Now most diaper changes happen on the run, with us trying to sheepdog him away from the nice rugs. I have no idea how people get cloth diapers onto toddlers. We have about 2.3 seconds to affix the diaper. I've even tried judo holds.
all diaper changes happened with Mal on his belly playing in the sink
In my fave baby book, Baby Love by Maud Bryt, the author's nana recommends diaper changes in the sink when the bebe is wee enough to fit over your forearm. Drape baby with head at your elbow and bum at your hand...then tuck that bum right under the faucet flow. According to her, much faster and cleaner than using wipes. Plus, extra added bonus of no chemical application. Therefore, again according to her, less diaper rash.
I just love that imagery. But I'm guessing this technique only works for the first few months. Squirmy toddler over the forearm? Not happening.
EVERYONE should corset. It's fun!
Boys too?
Wait, the guy from Rocky Horror wore a corset, right?
Many guys wear corsets, and not necessarily as drag/crossdressing, either.
And -- HOTT.
I'm trying to imagine Joe in a corset, and I just keep seeing stripey tights.
I look at my belly and realize I probably need a corset. Or at least a girdle.
Wow, it's like I can picture it in my head and...oh, right.
