Oh, Aimee, that totally sucks. I'm so sorry!

I think I've had most of the tapes you guys are talking about, and used various techniques with varying success to turn them off or divert them. But what worked best was getting on the other side of raising kids.

Mine were teenagers when I became acquainted with the idea of "parenting your inner child," which I'm sure is a dated concept, but it worked for me.

I had accepted the parenting I was given as the norm, when it absolutely wasn't. I had to perform the task myself, from the parent's perspective, to realize the lacks and the glitches in my own upbringing. Most of the "head tapes" sprung from that, seasoned with a healthy dose of ADD and not understanding normal peer behavior as a child.

In a very real sense, I learned what my parents should have taught as I taught my own children. It turns out that while my childhood and adolescence were incomprehensible and nightmarish, my adulthood has been much better. I had a very real perspective on what my kids were thinking and feeling, and what they were going through, and hopefully because of that was able to provide better guidance.

Perspective is good, and I'm finally able to forgive myself for most of my screwups, and to get over most of my hangups. Not all, but a goodly amount.

And now, from this advanced pinnacle of learned age, my mortal body can evaporate and I can move on into the next plane...

Oh, did I say that out loud? Sorry.

{{{Aimee}}}

Remind me not to call my mother again when I want to calm down about cooking for company: "Why haven't you started the sauce yet? I thought you were making the dip last night?" Sigh.

Holy shit. Just had a coughing fit so bad that it's making my throat bleed. Or at least, I taste blood in my mouth. Mom thinks I should page the doc again. I say, it's a stupid cold. I just need to get through it.

Much ~ma to vw, sj , and Aimée.

I'm sitting in my office crying. You people broke me. I can attribute something from each person's playlist to me, which starts a new mix known as the "OMG, I'm Overidentifying Because I Need to Make a Connection With Everyone" mashup.

My tapes are of the Now That's What I Call Craxxy! Vols. 1-899 variety. They are legion, but the one that comes up the most and is the hardest to shut off is "You Are a Fraud and Why on Earth Would Anyone Want to Be Your Friend?" and that's followed closely by the compulsion to make everyone LIKE ME. The opposite is not an option. The weight and attractiveness loop is a close second.

Ever since I was a child, I *knew* I was going to be someone. Enter your classic overachiever, underperfomer coding, and you end up with me. I'm not the someone I thought I was going to be, and I can't make the someone that I am good enough.

{{{Maria}}}

I'm not the someone I thought I was going to be, and I can't make the someone that I am good enough.

This makes my heart ache with recognition and empathy.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Maria}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm not the someone I thought I was going to be, and I can't make the someone that I am good enough.

Oh, honey. Totally what Beej said.

{{{Maria}}}

Also, {{{vw's poor throat}}}.

t feels up Maria

What? We were hugging and stuff...